I am recent immigrant in Canada on work permit. My wife is still back home and my daughter is student here and staying with me. Life is not easy here, everything is costly and my job salary is not sufficient for all expenses. So I am doing small tiffin delivery service on side for extra income. My daughter also help me sometimes after her classes, like packing and delivery. Actually from tiffin I am earning more than my company job, because my work permit is only for that job and this side work there is no tax and all cash, so it helps me manage rent and fees.
Recently police already suspended my license once for small issue which they exagerate
. Since then I am very scared because police here are targeting immigrants, specially men like me. If I lose license fully then my job and tiffin both gone. So I decided better my daughter also get driving license, so she can help with delivery and also for her own safety and future.
I enrolled her in driving school. The owner of this driving school is from my country and from same ancestral village also. He is my friend and I know his family. Because of this I trust him. Also this driving school is cheaper and I am already struggling with money. Other driving schools are more costly and I cannot afford easily.
Now my daughter is saying she does not like the owner and she feels he is weird. She is not telling any big issue, just saying his behaviour is strange and she feel uncomfortable in classes. I asked her what exactly he did, she is not giving clear answer, only saying “I don’t like him” and “I don’t feel good learning from him”. I told her he is good man, from our place, and he helped me before. Also changing school will cost more money and I already paid some amount.
She is getting angry with me and saying I am not listening to her feelings and putting money over her comfort. But I feel she is overreacting and being too sensitive. I am doing all this for family survival. I am scared about police and license issue and just want some backup. I told her to adjust for few weeks and finish classes.
Now she is not talking to me properly and saying she will not go for class anymore. I am feeling bad but also helpless. She always has that mentality of more expensive is better there is nothing wrong with the school.
So AITA for not letting her change driving school and asking her to continue with my friend’s school?
>Recently police already suspended my license once for small issue which they exagerate
So not only are you blind to the danger you are on the road, you’re also blind to the danger other men are to your daughter.
Great job. Failing on all counts of being a dad here.
YTA.
YTA. That’s great she’s talking to you properly now /s. Your good man from the ancestral home land probably is a creep and hits on your teenage daughter, but you go on and make the focus the money. And not that you are complacent with your daughter being made uncomfortable by a grown man.
YTA. She didn’t say she was bored or her friends went to another school. She said she feels uncomfortable. Just because he’s from your ancestral village doesn’t mean he’s a good person. Let her change schools.
1. Your side gig violates Canadian food safety and tax laws. If the wrong person hears about it you will have some big problems.
2. It takes a major violation to have your driver’s license suspended. What you did might seem minor to you but Canada is not India.
3. When a young woman says a man is making her uncomfortable, listen to her. She might not be able to put into words what the problem is but she would not be making a fuss over nothing. Many young women are abused because the adults in their lives ignore their feelings.
For all of this YTA.
YTA. When your teen daughter tells you she doesn’t feel comfortable being alone in a car with an older man she doesn’t know, you listen and pull her out.
Dude, are you sure she’s not getting SAd by the guy? Did you actually try to listen to her? Of course YTA
YTA
You are making out the police are targeting you unfairly, but you are commiting a crime! More then one actually.
You are willing to put your daughter in danger by leaving her alone in a car repeatedly with a creep simply because he is giving you a discount? Hmm wonder why he is being so generous
YTA.
Your daughter is TRYING to tell you something is wrong. A teenager isn’t necessarily going to be able to put into words how an older man is making her PHYSICALLY uncomfortable.
Also your “good man” is probably being subtle enough about his creeper-y that she can’t really put her finger on it or describe it well.
The man is almost certainly creeping on her.
Um … this is definitely sounding like your friend from your home country is hitting on your daughter (or worse). Take a deep breath and consider what is in your daughter’s best interest.
YTA for not considering your daughters feelings. If she’s uncomfortable with your friend then you need to accept that and work out a different way even if it costs more money.
She’s not going to tell you anything if you already made up your mind that your friend is a good person and that she is lying or overreacting.
From what vague info you’ve provided on the issue, yes YTA
She might not want to tell you exactly what your friend is doing that’s creeping her out, because she doesn’t want to harm your friendship with him, or because she thinks you won’t believe her over him.
Find another driving school, for her safety.
Doesn’t need to be a more expensive one, just a different one. If there’s a female instructor available, even better.
YTA
This isn’t about money. This is about safety.
You are literally prioritizing money over your daughter’s safety.
Do better.
Fathers like you who don’t listen are how daughters end up with trauma. YTA
YTA. Just because this man is from your home and he’s helped you before, this means he gets more consideration than your own daughter? If she is uncomfortable enough to tell you she won’t go to his school anymore, there is something seriously wrong. Your first duty as a father is to protect your daughter. Listen to her and allow her to attend elsewhere.