I need an opinion on a financial disagreement involving a hobby of mine.
I play Trading Card Games (TCGs). In this hobby, card prices are highly volatile, a deck’s value can spike significantly within days based on tournament results or market demand.
Recently, I decided to sell one of my decks to a friend. Because he is a friend, I offered him a "buddy price" (well below market value) and agreed to let him pay in weekly installments with no down payment. My goal was to use his payments to buy a different deck I had been eyeing.
Here is where the conflict started:
* Week 1: He told me he couldn’t pay because of urgent college expenses. I’ve been a student, so I understood and told him he could just start to pay the following week.
* Week 2: He missed the payment again for the same reason.
This put me in a tough spot. The cards I wanted to buy for my new deck were rapidly increasing in price. Every week he didn’t pay, my target deck became more expensive, effectively costing me more money the longer I waited for him.
I eventually told him that we should just cancel the deal. I asked for the deck back so I could sell it to someone else. This deck is in high demand, and I knew I could sell it instantly if I listed it just slightly below market price which would still be significantly more than the discounted price I offered him.
He was reluctant and unhappy about it, but he eventually returned the deck since he couldn’t guarantee when he’d have the funds.
I’ve been told by a mutual friend that I am the asshole here. They argued that as a "good friend," I should have been more patient and let him keep the deck indefinitely because I knew he was struggling financially.
My perspective is that if someone is struggling with essential expenses like college, they shouldn’t be prioritizing/acquiring luxury hobby items on credit. I don’t feel I should have to stall my own hobby goals and lose money due to market spikes just to accommodate his lack of budget.
AITA for repossessing the deck and canceling the transaction?
NTA that guy was never going to pay you
Nta hi want a free deck
NTA
You offered a friend price, and he didn’t follow through.
This is why friends and business don’t mix well.
I don’t see where your other friend was coming from… your perspective is spot on
NTA. You did the right thing by extending a chance, and you did the right thing rescinding that offer when he couldn’t come through.
NTA. If he had made any payments, there might have been some nuance, but no. You lent him a deck for two weeks.
Is the total value of the deck in the hundreds or in thr thousands?
NTA – been in this exact same scenario. He never would’ve paid you and then that same friend who said you were in the wrong would probably still be saying the same thing and telling you that it “should have been a gift anyway”
Trust me, I’ve been through it. Taking it back was the right thing to do. Never lend friends money or front them anything. Friends will take advantage and try to shame YOU for “ruining the friendship” if you ever get even the slightest upset about it and the other friends just want peace in the group and they will KNOW that the person is never going to pay you and instead of listening to it and being in the middle of it all the time they will push for the easiest “solution” because it makes things more peaceful for them.
People are shitty, even friends sometimes.
Nta. He didn’t pay you, so he basically tried to steal it but in a way you’d be cool with. He should have been up front with you about the money and offered to return it to you.
NTA
You were already doing him a favor with a big discount and a payment plan with no money down. He missed multiple payments and could not say when he would be able to pay. At that point the deal was not really a deal anymore.
You were clear that the payments mattered because prices move fast in this hobby. It is not fair to expect you to eat the cost or stall your own plans indefinitely just because he is struggling financially.
You did not take anything he paid for since he had paid nothing. You canceled the deal and took back your property. That is reasonable.
Being a good friend does not mean taking a financial hit with no end in sight.
NTA. Never was a fan of family or friends telling you to be more patient or let it go and that’s what friends do. When it involves your money or property. Next time ask this friend if they are willing to pay you for deck so the other friend can keep it?
The answer will most likely be no so they have no business in the discussion.
NTA. If he was a friend, he would have paid you.
NTA you can’t be expected to take a bath on both sides of the deal.
NTA. I’d argue you were a good friend for just canceling the deal and letting him off the hook
NTA – he could not afford the deck.