AITA for resenting my bf because he eats my food?

To preface, this is my (25F) first relationship with my bf (22M) and we’ve been together for coming up on a year now.

We’re also med students very far away from our respective homes, so we do lean on each other for support/comfort/ect. Also, I do love cooking for people I love and so I do majority (if not all cooking) but that also means that about 95% of the time I’m covering grocery cost as well (where we live everything is VERY expensive – eggs, milk, cheese, bread, butter = 60 USD). And aside from cooking, we ARE med students so half the time I just order in because I’m too busy to shop and/or cook. Again, I cover take-in costs LITERALLY 90%. And even when we contributes, it’s like "\_\_\_\_ is enough right?" and I usually have to chip in like $10+.

A little more back story, he stays at my apartment all the time, and I mean ALL the time, and since his apartment doesn’t en suite washer/dryer and mine does, he does all his laundry here. In addition, last sem sometimes even when I’d go to campus (I try to stay on campus as much as possible to not only study but also to help mitigate raising my electric bills), he’d opt to stay at my apartment all day and I’d come home to no food.

I HATE watching how people eat because I wasn’t raised to like that and in my culture, providing a meal for someone is always seen as a blessing but it hurts knowing that he knows that I’m in a similar, if not MUCH worse financial situation than him, but not only doesn’t he contribute, but also will sometimes clear my groceries/food within days of me ordering/grocery shopping/ordering in.

Not to mention that I’m a big gift giver so since the dawn of our relationship I’ve bought him, clothes, designer colognes, bottles, merch he’s liked, expensive dinners, and on my birthday he bought me a Victoria Secret body spray and the equivalent of Claire’s earrings set. This Christmas (last month) was the first time he bought me "proper" jewelry and \*sigh\* it was silver – even though he knows every piece of jewelry I know is yellow gold (it’s whatever I’ve gotten over it and am just grateful he got me something).

To top it all off, when we were just friends, he used to talk about how he’d shower his ex in thoughtful gifts and pay for everything, even paid for his own birthday outing with her. He boasts about his family being very financially successful (they are, I’ve seen proof) and he treats himself things during breaks. So now being in a position where I’m feeling like the sole provider for a grown man, especially in my first relationship is just really disheartening. He’s even gone as far as asking me to hold my card when we go out so he’s not embarrassed about not paying in front of people.

BTW, he works, his parents are doctors and high level government employees. I don’t work (I’m already barely keeping up with school bro) and depend on my parents income (handy man contractor and CNA).

I also want to clarify that I *have* openly communicated that my financial situation is tight and frequently discuss my family’s financial constraints, but I haven’t set explicit boundaries or had a firm conversation outlining expectations around groceries, takeout, or shared expenses, largely because those conversations make me uncomfortable and I feel like its…common decency.

# UPDATE:

I want to add that I handle essentially all of the cleaning in my apartment. Maintaining a clean environment is important for my ability to focus and function, and I’ve explained this to him. He usually comes into a clean space but consistently leaves it messier. For example, after washing his face or brushing his teeth, the bathroom sink, counter, and even the mat are often left soaked, and he does not wipe them down despite me asking. He will occasionally do dishes, but they’re often left with food crusted on them, which means I still end up re-cleaning. Overall, the responsibility of maintaining the apartment falls on me.

Because my space is small, we usually eat on the couch. Almost every time, crumbs or food end up on the carpet under the couch because he consistently takes the smallest plate possible to avoid washing a larger dish, even when eating a lot of food. Each time I clean, I explicitly tell him that I don’t have the time or energy to redo a full day’s worth of cleaning, but within a day the apartment is usually back to being messy.

For those asking why I’ve stayed, this is my first relationship (first kiss, first everything). He has helped me significantly with school over the years and supported me emotionally during a very difficult period when I was considering quitting medical school, which is why this situation feels complicated for me.