The other day, my dad randomly tells me that i have to start thinking about going to my dad’s home country for my birthday because my half-sister’s birthday is two days after mine and he wants me to spend my birthday there with her. my sister and i aren’t close and we rarely speak. i haven’t been back to my dad’s home country in over 10 years. i don’t really speak the language. he didn’t ask me if i wanted to go; he was telling that i was going. i told him i don’t want to spend my birthday there. and it turned into a big fight. i was told that i always only think about myself. i just feel like i should have the choice. my dad ended up saying, “fine, i’m never celebrating your birthday ever again.” AITA for not wanting to go along with my dad’s plans for my birthday?
Your dad sounds like a child lol
NTA
So his poor planning is your fault? Yeah just celebrate on your own and when he’s alone he’ll know why.
It’s YOUR birthday, you get to think about yourself. That’s kinda how the day is supposed to be. Sounds like he doesn’t understand how birthdays work. Maybe he was raised being told what he’d be doing for his birthday? NTA
NTA. He sounds childish
NTA
I have to wonder if there’s another reason he’s so adamant about it. is he setting up an arranged marriage or something?
Sadly, I was thinking the same thing. Read several stories here on Reddit where the young woman was convinced by her parents to visit the home country then had her passport taken away and either forced to marry some guy 30 years her senior or almost married him but managed to escape, barely.
NTA
I’m a pretty big advocate for being all about “you.” Never doing anything for anyone, because YOU are number one. This one of those situations. This problem is solely on him. It’s YOUR birthday. If your sister wanted to hang with you, she would’ve texted you. She didn’t text you, you didn’t ask for the party. Go do what you want you want for your birthday and stop worrying about people who’ve proven that they don’t care about you or your wants.
Part of me can see where your dad is coming from. 10 years is a long time without a visit, and *of course* he wants his children to have a closer relationship, but you can’t force that.
> “fine, i’m never celebrating your birthday ever again.”
And this dramatic bullshit is ridiculous.
NTA
NTA – celebrate your birthday how YOU want to, he can make his choice.
NTA.
You aren’t a child who your dad can dictate his demands to. If he keeps this up, you should consider either going LC or NC with him.
Your dad sounds like a controlling bully who has to get his own way. My dad was like this. Low contact would probably make you happier
100% NTA
NTA but info: How old are you? Even if you’re a teen you should have some say on whether you spend your birthday overseas or not. His “Fine, then I’m never celebrating your birthday again” reaction is childish.
Your culture isn’t one in which you’d be likely to get married off while you’re there, is it?
NTA, any chance he trying to marry you off? if so and he forces you to go to the airport put a spoon in your underwear…