My friend (20M) and I (19M) have been close for a while. He’s generally a good friend, but he recently started to gain a habit of criticizing and questioning my choices, making me the subject of his jokes, it’s become less of a joke and more negative.
For example, when I bought new tires for my motorcycle (around $500), he kept saying they weren’t worth the price, that the grip was minimal compared to the stock tires on his motorcycle (we have the same model). The whole day prior, he brought it up multiple times in front of our friends, saying I was wasting money and acting like I only bought it because I’m spoiled. I got defensive and told him it was my choice what I do with my motorcycle, and asked why he seemed so bothered that I bought new tires.
Anyway, yesterday around three in the afternoon, I was putting the tires on the rims and installed the front wheel. I couldn’t get the rear wheel aligned properly so I asked him for help to hold and lift the wheel so I could align everything properly, a task that wouldn’t take more than five minutes to complete. He came down to the garage (I was working in his garage) but after an unsuccessful attempt, he insisted we stop and go get lunch before continuing, I initially said no because I wanted to finish first and wasn’t even hungry yet, but I ended up putting that aside and reluctantly agreed.
After lunch, he went straight home on his motorcycle. His roommate had invited us to a gathering later that evening and I had to go pick up our friends. When I got back around an hour later I had a little chat with him and asked him for help again, he just sat on the couch hesitating and gave me the impression I was forcing him to help.
I got a little frustrated and said screw you, he laughed and sarcastically asked “What? why’re you so upset?”. I ignored him.
I went downstairs after that and spent three hours assembling it myself, covered in grease, struggling with a task that could have taken only five minutes with someone else’s help. He didn’t check on me once. I could hear him playing FIFA with the guys upstairs. I went back up after I’d finished and sat with the guys but I didn’t interact with him at all, it also felt like he was avoiding me, I believe he thinks I overreacted and was being demanding and rude.
I know he was comfortable and that all the guys were there. Maybe the timing of asking him to help wasn’t right, but he was the one who put it off in the first place, and I always do my best to help him, in fact, I’d just done the same thing to his motorcycle a few days before and changed the oil out when he asked for help, so I felt like I was being taken for granted, especially when this isn’t the first time he’s backed out of helping me with something.
AITA for getting mad and telling him to screw off?
Yeah, ESH.
He should have helped you.
You should not have said what you said.
And finally, I’m surprised he’s still your friend.
NTA sometimes people just don’t see their friendship with you the same way you see yours with them. I wouldn’t call telling him “screw you” for being a lazy, unhelpful, bad friend an asshole move. I’d just find better friends and not help him with his shit again until I got a proper apology or explanation.
Probably NTA, but you could’ve handled that line better.
Not even a little bit.
I’m guessing that your new tires are better than his stock tires and that he is jealous.
Based on his treatment of you, I wouldn’t consider him a friend.
Real friends don’t put their “friends” down or denigrate them. This guy is definitely not your friend. I feel like he is insecure and jealous of your recent successes in life.
If it was me, I would distance myself and not share anything positive that was happening in my life with him.
Some people can’t stand it when their friends are doing better than them in life
NTA
Nta
Don’t help him anymore
Nope, NTA! Although him, well….
NTA, but you need better friends and more practice changing wheels. Next time …sit behind the bike ,put your feet under the wheel to lift in place.. depending on the bike the spacers and brake bracket are trick, but I have been able to install a wheel on every bike myself in about 10 min max. But I get it..help would be great .
NTA. I would find better friends. He clearly doesn’t value you as much as you value hin.
NTA. He’s benefited from you helping him out, but essentially refuses to return the favor? Some enemies are cloaked in “friendship”. he sounds like one. You’re better off with getting as much distance from him as possible as soon as possible. You’ll feel much better once this weight is lifted off your shoulders.