My gf(29F) and I(30M) have long had this disagreement on whether she is an engineer. I’m a mechanical engineer and she is a software engineering graduate from a university that offers it however she never worked under a licensed engineer because she mostly just went on to be a dev which is a requirement in Canada. Now she makes a lot as a dev and eventually decided becoming licensed wasn’t worth the hassle. But when she tells people about what she does for a living, she says she is an engineer which isn’t strictly true. I’ve also told her many times it doesn’t mean she isn’t doing what an engineer does or her education didn’t matter she just never met the requirements for a professional engineer.
We were talking to a bunch of friends and they brought people we never met and they asked if we met in school and we said no because we went to different engineering schools. The conversation then went onto how we met and she said we met because we both were engineers and she clicked on my profile because she liked that. Then I joked that technically she wasn’t a full engineer so it could be seen as catfishing. They asked why she wasn’t and I explained the process on professional engineer and how she wasn’t in a work environment to actually get the full requirements. She loudly said “well looks like it doesn’t actually matter because I still make double of you”. Then the room got quiet and I tried to laugh it off but I was pissed because why was that necessary?
We fought in the car and I just asked her for an apology but she kept saying she was just defending herself and I should apologize first and haven’t spoken more than 3 words to be since Friday night. I feel like the joke wasn’t that insulting but her response was way out of line.
Your joke isn’t funny.
YTA
This is the most engineer post I’ve ever seen. Technically correct with an inability to read the room. YTA
Seriously? Yeah. You’re an asshole.
Hahaha. Tried to make her the butt of your joke and ended up with hurt feelings. YTA.
YTA and are obviously very jealous that she didn’t have to put in the “work” that you did and still makes more than you.
YTA. Not because she isn’t or is not an engineer. But because you should be trying to pump up your GF in public, not push her down.
She made her comment on finances in response to your comment about her not being a real engineer.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
YTA, for all intents and purposes she is an engineer. Your need to be pedantic about it screams insecurity and if you keep pushing the issue you will push her away.
Very pedantic, but technically correct. Keep that up and you’ll be technically single. YTA
oh, so when you are “joking” around about her not being a real engineer that’s ok, but when she claps back, suddenly it’s “not necessary”
and you think SHE owes YOU an apology?
man get the hell over yourself
YTA x1000
YTA
‘I explained the process on professional engineer and how she wasn’t in a work environment to ACTUALLY get the full requirements.’
First you try to embarrass her and claim you’re superior to her. Then got mad when she matched your energy.
Was it necessary? Yes, you humiliated her and what she does for a living in front of friends. She has no reason to apologize to you and YOU need to apologize to her. It wasn’t a joke, it was a deliberate put down of her, YTA.
Soooooooo. You tried to embarass her with the catfishing comment and she then dropped the mic on you. Team Girlfriend. YTA.
>”Then the room got quiet and I tried to laugh it off but I was pissed because why was that necessary?”
Why is it necessary to endlessly correct/remind her that she isn’t a “real engineer” like YOU are? Oh, yeah, because it makes you feel superior to her, doesn’t it?
>I feel like **the joke wasn’t that insulting** but her response was way out of line.
You admit you knew you were insulting her, it just wan’t “that bad”. You sound insufferable.
YTA