I 25F invited my 26F BFF to a NYE rave (2 nights) in the summer and reluctantly bought a second pair of tickets for her 24M boyfriend. I was told she would not be coming without him. (I think he told her she wasn’t allowed to go without him in fear she would do "something")
Last week he had a meltdown, so bad, his parents (lives with) almost took him to the hospital for a Psyc Eval. I will not talk about what happend here but it wasn’t acceptable behavior on his part and this wasn’t the first time. I do not take hurting yourself as a threat, lightly.
Dude’s never been to a single show in his life, of any kind. He thinks she shouldn’t talk to anyone about their relationship, particularly friends. He can be controlling of her clothing and style. He throws around the phrase "wh*re" when his feelings are hurt or he isn’t getting attention. He regularly accuses women of cheating. He thinks getting black out drunk is more than acceptable. However, if you take/use anything else your just a drugy. Implied I shouldn’t be traveling without my own partner (of 8 years mind you) the first time I had met him. He grew up believing he would be the "man" of the house and it shows.
Given all that, I sold his tickets under the belif he would no longer be with her. Just to find out he had convinced her to let them stay together the day she told me they were going to break up. I also just don’t feel supper comfortable bringing a dude like that to a rave to begin with.
So was I a dick for full sending selling his tickets?
Should I tell my friend I don’t want her to come either? (honestly worried about her well being at this point not bc I don’t want her there)
I just want everyone to be safe and happy but I dont think this dude gets it
NTA tbh, I would feel unsafe with this guy around in almost any capacity. Keep the communication open with your friend, but it doesn’t mean you should put yourself at risk.
Agreed, NTA. I’ve been to raves and festivals my whole adult life and this guy will be a killjoy the moment you pick them up. Has he paid for the tickets? No? Then good on you. Your friend needs to go and have a good time, without the boyfriend in tow. She needs to kick him to the curb, he’s not going to be boyfriend material any time soon.
Info: does your bff still get to go? If by selling his ticket, you also ruined her chance to go then YMBAAH.
No I have her tickets still and would very much like for her to come. I love her a lot and she isn’t even that mad at me really. I just feel like maybe I jumped the gun a little and was being exclusionary towards him because of my preconceived dislike for the dude.
I hope she values your opinion of him and finds someone that is safe, kind, and secure.
NTA
NTA. You should fully extricate yourself from this circus.
If my bestie told me she was breaking up with her toxic af “man”, i would sell the tickets too. So, imo, NTA. I wouldve done the same
NTA.
I’d find another friend to go with.
Don’t cut your friend off, she’d benefit from having a judgement free ear and always open door, but definitely speak your peace and you are under no obligation to have any relationship whatsoever with her partner.
She’s already told you she won’t go with out him
Sorry that was poorly worded. She is comfortable coming without him, he is not comfortable with her going without him. Because he fears that she would do “something.” What that is IDK probably cheating but dude thinks anything with a sex organ cheats so 🤷♀️
i get the concern but you’re literally looking out for your friend’s safety. those tickets are yours and his behavior sounds like major red flags. she deserves better tbh.
NTA. But communicate to your friend that you are there for her, but your boundary is that you won’t be around him. That his unpredictable behavior and treatment of your friend is too upsetting for you. Let her decide if she wants to go to rave. Otherwise I’m sure you’ll find others to attend, or go by yourself and have a grand time.n