This friend of mine consistently put me down, competed with me, and made me feel like I couldn’t do anything right. Sometimes she acted like she was trying to help me, but it didn’t feel helpful at all—her “advice” often came with criticism or controlling comments. She cheated throughout college, and when I tried to set boundaries or call out her behavior, she would get angry and start rambling about how much better of a person she is than me. She even cussed me out through my sister and refused to address me directly.
I got frustrated and emailed her school to report her past cheating. She found out, blocked me, and called me a “psychotic” to others. Later, she created a fake profile to contact my sister and I and ask about our friendship. She has a history of making fake profiles, and this one reached out to my sister after my sister stopped messaging her and had blocked her for everything. She posed as a guy wanting to know if my sister would attend her wedding. This felt very disturbing. Once confronted, she denied it and said she has no hate in her heart for anyone and she wants us to come to her wedding.
I realize now that sending the email was a terrible way to handle my feelings. It escalated the situation, didn’t fix anything, and I feel awful about it. I’ve reflected on my actions and am trying to set healthier boundaries and handle conflicts better in the future.
Was I the asshole for emailing her school about her cheating and disturbing behavior?
ESH. Just don’t involve yourself with her anymore also unless you have evidence I doubt the school will take your email seriously.
I ask so don’t see the point in going through the effort of getting her in trouble when you can just block her since it’s clear she offers nothing but misery in your “friendship”.
INFO: You gave so much info about how shit this person is, but absolutely zero reason why you’re still referring to her as a friend. You’re also not giving any info about what your title question is asking until you made a separate post to this. You should stop talking to this person and yes, you were an asshole for doing this as revenge. Learn how to focus on relevant details when telling a story, and also learn how to walk away from someone who drives you to do super toxic things.
YTA. End this toxic whatever it is and move on. You’re not friends.
Calling them a friend and then writing a full blown essay about how terrible they are and how you plotted your revenge against them is an almost impressive level of toxic.
ESH
For the life of me, I’ll never understand why it is that people know they’re in a toxic relationship/friendship yet they continue it, return the toxic behavior, and then wonder if they’re in the wrong. Personally, I think you’re the bigger asshole here. You could have easily cut this “friend” out of your life but you instead chose to do something that could literally ruin the person’s life cause they were mean to you.
Good luck to your future therapist
You should have dumped her arse years ago. Time to block her everywhere and no longer be in contact with her.
YTA this post is a mess and so is this ‘friendship’. if you didn’t like her it sounds like you should have moved on a long time ago.
Have you considered therapy, because I do not for the life of me understand what is going on here. Drop this woman from your life. If you have no proof, how can you email her school and claim she cheated? You actually sound unstable.
ESH
ok so you’re bitter at her treatment of you , so you want revenge? that is not how life is, why are you stooping to her level?
omg the jealousy is so real but sending that email was kinda nuclear.. feels like there were other ways to handle this toxic friendship before going straight to her school.
YTA—Either this story is false and didnt occur, or you are on some drug induced rant where you needed some attention. If this were truly occurring, no one in their right mind would put up with that type of behavior for that long. Furthermore, no faculty member is going to refer to another student as a “Psychotic Ex”. When telling this story to whomever you seem to always want to paint yourself as the victim and everyone else as the problem….you dont see anything wrong with that?
If this truly occured then you are SUPREMELY TA because you didnt care about her alleged dishonesty/cheating when she was doing it. You only care because she pissed you off.
This whole post is 🗑