My sister moved out in September for school to a town about 5 hours away. She comes back to visit for holidays. She came back on Thanksgiving but didn’t even show for dinner (despite telling us she’d be there and our grandparents were there waiting) because she went to my dad’s to get her car fixed.
She made plans to come back in February for a weekend, to once again have my dad fix her car and because she’s single for valentines day and wants to go out with friends in town. My mom meanwhile has been saving to go on a vacation, she intended to go early January but she broke her foot and had to wait for it to heal. The cheapest option was that same weekend. My mom booked it since A. she hasn’t traveled in years and B. She has a concussion and her boyfriend could go with her (she was worried about flying alone).
My sister called me, said "I’m so pissed at mom right now." I said "Yeah but you’ve been on plenty of trips without us. Mom deserves a trip" and she hung up on me. She hasn’t spoken to me or my mom since that call on Saturday last week. I’m wondering if I should have been nicer but I thought it was a dumb reason to be mad since she wasn’t even coming up for a real visit, just her car and friends. AITA?
To consider: my mom and sister have a rocky relationship, my sister got kicked out a few years prior to live with my dad, and then welcomed back a few months later after they worked out the issue.
NTA. Being honest with your sister here is justified. If she can’t make time for your mom, she can’t expect your mom to make time for her, and this isn’t even a case of making time. This is one weekend that she’s home and your mom is travelling. They can connect next time.
Your sister won’t see it that way, but that’s why she is the A-hole here.
NTA. You explained it enough for her. She should be more considerate of her mom. Rocky relationship or not, she knows about her TBI.
NTA your sister said she’s coming to town to get her car fixed, who’s to say she’s going to have time to visit since she couldn’t make it to Thanksgiving the last time? Why should mom hold off on vacation and spend extra 100s of dollars on the off chance your sister might show up? Your sister should be happy for your mom but she’s making it about herself. It’s not like mom said “I don’t want to see her so I’m going to plan my vacay for that time”
How old is your sister? NTA irregardless of her age. If she is younger her selfishness is slightly more palatable.
She’s 20
While dictionaries record irregardless, because people use it, it is criticized, and most grammatical guides recommend using regardless instead, to avoid being perceived as uneducated.
You were polite while pointing out facts. Your sister sounds like a selfish person who also likes drama. NTA
NTA. Your sister is expecting to be waited on and treated to dinner and other excursions while she is visiting your mother. She can still stay on the house, but she’s going to have to put on her big girl panties and provide for herself and even do chores!
NTA sounds like your mom has enough to deal with between healing from a broken foot & a concussion
“My sister got kicked out a few years prior to live with my dad.”
INFO: why, and how old is (and was) everyone involved?
She was about 14, and I’m not sure what caused the argument, but my sister threatened to move out during a fight, and my mom said, “Sure, pack your stuff then.”
NTA- If your sister wants to be included in vacation plans, she needs to actually show up for things. She doesn’t show up for the family stuff because it’s not fun, but wants to go on the vacation. She would probably ditch you at the first opportunity based on her behavior. Let mom have a fabulous vacation without your sister.