So I 19f am a sophomore in college and lately I’ve been skipping some of my classes. Not to party, not to sleep all day, not because I’m failing but because I genuinely don’t need to be there to understand the material.
I study on my own, do every assignment, and consistently get perfect grades. I currently have a 4.0, and I don’t cheat. I just learn better by reading the material myself rather than sitting in lectures that feel repetitive or slow.
My dad recently found out I’ve been skipping and completely blew up. He says I’m being irresponsible, disrespectful, and setting myself up for failure because “real life doesn’t work like that.” He also said that even if I’m passing now, habits matter, and skipping class is a bad habit.
I tried explaining that I’m not slacking off, I’m literally doing the work, doing it well, and doing it independently. But he thinks I’m being sneaky and rebellious, even though I’ve never missed an assignment or exam.
Every point your dad made is valid, and be careful, because a lot of schools/classes will fail you for attendance even if you turn in every assignment and have a 4.0.
YTA, but mostly to yourself.
Eh, some college classes do have an attendance portion of the grade so not super smart to get into the habit of skipping.
YTA if you make this a habit.
NAH. I get why your dad is upset. I also get why attending a lecture that isn’t stretching you doesn’t feel like a good use of your time. It might be politer to talk to the college and explain- they will probably want to stretch you.
Real life can work like this, if you pick the right field.
When I was in college, I had a professor say that he noticed some kids were there to get good grades while other kids were there to prepare for their future careers. Many years later, I understood that there’s a substantial difference between the two. Do whatever puts you in the latter category. It’s much more important than the former.
NAH there are class announcements about pop quizzes, exam date changes and even bonus opportunities. You shouldnt skip class, even though right now you’re doing well.
If lectures are boring then sit in the back and review notes etc.
Here’s a question. Why not go? You aren’t doing anything else and you are paying for it. Or maybe he is and sees you not participating to your fullest. If you don’t go, you might as well pay way less and go to a virtual school.
Does your school not have an attendance policy? More than a few missed classes would drop your grade at least 1 letter.
NAH, but as somebody who did the EXACT same thing, I believe you’re making a mistake.
The *biggest* mistake I made in college was acting like the degree was the most important part. It’s not.
The network you build with other students and faculty is equally, if not more important than the work itself. Are you in clubs? A job/internship? Attending study sessions? Asking your profs for help when needed? Because that is how you will get ahead in your profession.
People you studied with or under, will come across opportunities in the future that they themselves cannot fill for one reason or another, and they will recommend others that they can trust to do a good job. Building a network is showing others that *you* are a competent and trusted person, which they will remember in the future.
Your father knows this, but you are still unaware of it. You are coasting and still passing. Think about that. You are doing better than the vast majority of your peers, and you’re not even trying to. Imagine how much more you could do if you tried.
INFO: Are you talking about multiple classes from the same subject of multiple classes across multiple subjects? Who is paying for your school?
You need to check the attendance policies of your classes and school. Skipping just for the sake of skipping can definitely affect your grade. Additionally, you could miss some vital information like a due date being moved or an assignment being changed.
(I also don’t know what size school you’re at, but I went to a small liberal arts school with a handful of people in the higher level classes. None of the professors took attendance verbally, but they definitely knew whether you were there.)
NAH. But why wouldn’t you go? You are paying for these classes and dedicating this time of your life to your education. Do you really have better things to do?
Skipping one class is nothing, but I can’t understand why you’d regularly cut class, even if you can ace the class without it.
What you learn from a class isn’t just what’s in the materials; you may currently have a lecturer who reaches that way, but from those who don’t, you’re depriving yourself of everything that happens spontaneously in the classroom: questions (that you might not have thought of) and the answers to those questions; side discussions or examples from the professor; any demonstration that might take place. YOU may feel you’re getting the most important points from the readings, but what about everything that happens between? And what about the professor who plants an exam question based on something this happened in class that isn’t covered in the texts? You’re getting As now, but that could change quickly.
You’re also cheating yourself of networking opportunities. Other students in that room are potentially your future colleagues as well as friends.
Last, one day you’ll need faculty recommendations or referrals. How will your professors know you or care about you if all they know is your test grades? What will you tell them—I’m the one who got great grades but didn’t bother to show to class?
MOST IMPORTANTLY—you or your parents aren’t paying for grades; you’re paying for access to faculty & learning. If the lectures are boring, ask a question that makes them more interesting. Go beyond the materials. You don’t have to settle for learning only what’s in the texts, just because that’s the minimum. Get full value out of your faculty; don’t be so passive.
YTA because you’re cheating yourself of an opportunity you won’t have again.
I’ve been out of college for 13 years, and my mom still doesn’t know I skipped most classes. how in the world did your dad find out at all?
NTA, but learn not to overshare.
If attendance isnt required and you’re nailing grades, okay. But if your dad is paying for school, thats in bad taste, so YTA for that. There’s other things to do on campus, like looking for a job or internship/scholarship etc.
NAH – yet. Having said that…
This is all well and good – until you discover that a class has an attendance policy, miss a surprise quiz/exam, fail to complete some task that was only announced in class, or bomb an exam.
If nothing else, use the class time as your “read the material myself” time; that, at least, keeps you on a consistent schedule.