I (35m) have an older sister (39m). She has a 22m son, who she had very young. Even though I didn’t have much of an interest in him when he was born (I was 13 sue me) when he became a teenager I became a father figure type to him because his own father was never around and I never had any children of my own.
My sister and I inherited our father’s house when he past away. It’s nothing special (small one bedroom) but it’s by a lake. Right now my new nephew is living there rent-free with the pre-determined arrangement that the rest of the family is also able to use the house as long as they give notice.
Anyway I had a client meeting pretty far out the other night and asked my nephew if I could just crash at his place. He said sure. I arrived late while my nephew was asleep and just went to sleep on the couch. I typically sleep in my underwear (not sure if it’s relevant but briefs) so I stripped down and went to sleep on the couch with a blanket covering me. For reference I also put spare sheets from the linen closet on the couch so I wasn’t touching it directly.
The next morning my nephew came down and without thinking about it I got up and got coffee and chatted with him before getting dressed (I guess I’ve lived alone too long). He didn’t seem bothered and just seemed happy to see me. I showered got dressed and went home.
Later that night I got an angry call from my sister. She said it was creepy that I as an uncle was “naked” around my nephew. I asked her if he said he was upset and she said “you know he’d never admit to being mad at you.” I was also confused because we had been texting that day about other things and he didn’t seem off. What pissed me off is she compared it to being not dressed around our brother’s daughters, who are 6, which I don’t think is the same thing at all. AITA?
EDIT: for everyone asking it is NOT my nephew’s house, it still belongs to my sister and I. He considers it more where he is staying until he can afford the down payment on something else. Don’t know if that changes anything.
EDIT 2: Texted my nephew. Turns out my sister came over later that day and she overheard him talking on the phone to one of his buddies making fun of my underwear lmao. He said he didn’t care, he just thought it was funny. Also told me not to expect calls from modeling agencies.
Texted my sister and she said he would never complain about me to her but that doesn’t mean he’s not mad. She said I need to grow up.
If he’s old enough to live rent free in your half the house he can handle boxers.
Your nephew is a 22 year old man, your sister needs to grow up.
Its perfectly normal for guys to be in there underwear around each other ESPECIALLY if they are both grown adults. NTA
Nah, you’re not an arsehole. Defo should’ve gotten properly dressed before getting up and chatting and making a coffee. I reckon if your nephew is still uncomfortable, then you should apologise.
NTA. You and your nephew are both grown ass men, and you had covered what you should have covered. Your sister needs to calm down.
NTA. Unless nephew said something about it before hand you didn’t know. Plus you had briefs on and weren’t naked. Idk why your sister is so freaked but you and your nephew are both adults and family so I don’t see the big deal. Talk to nephew and maybe just wear an under shirt with your underwear and you’ll be fine if you have to crash with him again.
NTA. You’re both adult men. If it really made him uncomfortable, he could’ve said something.
NTA. It’s no big deal to sleep in your underwear, especially around people of the same sex. As someone who spent a year living in hostels I’ve seen a lot worse. Also he’s an adult—if he were uncomfortable he could have asked you to put on pants himself
NTA.
Don’t see what the issue is here. If your nephew was uncomfortable, he’s an adult, he couldn’t have just said ‘Throw some pants on mate?’
Genuinely shocked this one’s so divisive. No. You’re not the AH for being around adult family in underwear and if they’re uncomfortable, that can be expressed and handled. He’s probably fine and mentioned it in passing and she wanted a reason to be offended because it makes her feel validated
NTA. Both grown adults, both same gender.
If nephew is uncomfortable, he can say something but he didn’t.
NTA. He’s 22 not 3. He’s a grown man. Sister is overreacting.
Your sisters thoughts are very much unnatural. What a pain..
I’ve seen more skin in my local run club.
I wish people could learn to be less weirded out by bodies. We all have em. They don’t have to be sexual or taboo. And it sounds like you still had a shirt on and briefs… so it’s not like you were naked.
Your nephew is an adult. Seems like an overreaction from your sister. If he prefers chatting with pants on that’s fine. But no need for everyone to freak out.
NTA
If your sister can’t see the difference between a grown man talking with another grown man he knows well while wearing boxers after waking up in the morning, versus said grown man wearing boxers around six year old girls, she must go through life terribly befuddled and endlessly confused.
I do hope she has a very strong string on her pearls, given how long and how hard she must clutch those damned things.
Tell your nephew, “Hey, sorry if I made you uncomfortable in boxers. If I ever make you uncomfortable again, please let me know.” Tell your sister to take a deep breath and stop being utterly ridiculous.
NTA