AITA for snapping at my friend and not wanting to apologize until everyone else takes responsibility first?

AITA for snapping at my friend and not wanting to apologize until everyone else takes responsibility first?

To put things into context, I’m part of a very tight-knit friend group of five. We hang out often, and one of my friends, I’ll call her M, usually plans everything. She genuinely puts in effort, changing dates and times so everyone can attend, and she’s always been considerate of the whole group.

Recently, three out of the five of us had a small party and purposely did not invite M or me. We found out afterward. I was obviously really upset, and it got to the point where I was crying at school. What made it worse is that the people who excluded us saw me crying and still talked about how fun the party was right in front of us.

M and I later texted them explaining how disrespectful and hurtful that was. Out of the three, only one gave a half-hearted apology, and the others didn’t really take responsibility at all.

After that, we still had a Christmas party planned with all five of us. Unsurprisingly, it went badly. We ended up fighting, and during the argument I snapped at one of my friends, I’ll call her E. I told her that she doesn’t really understand because all she ever does is respond to our problems with copy-and-paste therapist language. For context, she’s in a psychology class and has a habit of sending condescending mental-health links and using buzzwords instead of actually listening. This has bothered the entire group before, and we’ve all agreed in the past that it gets annoying.

After I said that, E suddenly stormed out of the building without telling anyone where she was going. She didn’t call or text for hours and basically ruined the rest of the night and the entire weekend since it was a Friday. We were extremely worried, especially because she has a history of mental health struggles.

Later, E texted M saying she “needed time” and that she couldn’t talk to me without wanting to “say mean things.” Since then, I’m still waiting on a proper apology from anyone about the original exclusion. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure E expects me to apologize, even though I don’t feel like what I said was anywhere near as bad as what led up to it.

What hurts the most is that one of the friends who originally excluded me didn’t even seem to care when E left, and the other three basically brushed the entire situation off as a “difference in values and priorities.”

So, AITA for snapping at my friend and not wanting to apologize until everyone else takes responsibility first?

TLDR: Three friends excluded me and another friend from a party, talked about it while I was crying, barely apologized, and later a group argument blew up where I snapped at one friend for being condescending. She stormed out, and now I’m expected to apologize even though I still haven’t received a real apology for being excluded.

**Edit:** I thought it might be useful to know that M has previously prevented one of the excluders from being victim something similar in the past. I was also incredibly close with one of the people who excluded me, having been friends since grade 1 up until now. Additionally, we’re all part of a program at school where we’re basically forced to be in the same class for the majority of our years, which makes avoiding each other unrealistic. M has already apologized for “being too mean” just to end the conflict, even though she was also hurt by the situation.