I’m not fussy about Christmas gifts. I’m very grateful for everything that I get. But. She put a "stocking stuffer" of my own pair of compression socks in my stocking. I’m three weeks post hysterectomy, and I got the flu shortly before Christmas. She was helping. She has a history of taking things from my apartment in the process of helping. These particular pair of socks were in a bag, in a cabinet. Which means, while I was sick, she was looking around my apartment for Christmas gifts. I am disabled, lately, she has been coming over to help every day. She has a habit of looking around my apartment and taking things she likes while she’s helping. Groceries, trinkets, etc.
Am I the asshole for snapping at her?
**NTA**. That’s not a gift, that’s theft with a bow on it. She went digging through your apartment while you were vulnerable, took your stuff, and tried to pass it off as generosity. That’s invasive, disrespectful, and frankly gross. You didn’t overreact she’s been stomping your boundaries and finally got called out. Good. And tell her that she’s lucky you didn’t call the Cops on her.
NTA, I mean gifting something Thats already yours is pretty lazy and scummy thing to do. Like did she actually think you aren’t going to know shes giving you your own socks.
But the fact she thinks shes entitled to just take/steal your things just because she likes/wants them is insane.
I mean, it can be a funny joke, so long as it’s not the actual gift and it wasn’t say, something people were looking for.
But this is beyond.
Your mom habitually comes to your house and steals from you, and you’re asking people whether it’s wrong to speak angrily to her about it?
This is one of those ones in the category of “NTA but it’s concerning that you need to ask.”
YTA for knowing this is how she operates and still letting her have free roam then getting mad when she does what she’s always done.
Eh, you’re paying for help one way or another. Time to ask your landlord to rekey the lock and hire a real home health aide. Your insurance might even cover it.
She is helping me post hysterectomy/flu, I got the flu three weeks after the hysterectomy. She will not provide the information to help me get a home health aid through medicaid.
this is your own mother doing this crap?!? time to put some distance there…is her “help” worth worrying about what she is helping herself to???
“helping”
find someone else to help you and get your locks changed.
NTA! She is a kleptomaniac and needs help.
I am curious if the socks were still in a bag, how you are certain they were ones You purchased and not that she purchased you another of the same pair out of kindness.
NTA- You snapped at a privacy violation. It is wrong for her to snoop through your cabinets and take your things while you are recovering. Your anger is a valid, she broke your trust.
How old is your mother? Is it possible she has dementia?