changed my Instagram profile pic to a recent selfie. It’s literally just my face, nothing sexual or provocative or anything. I do present a little more feminine than I used to.
An old friend I’ve known for over 10 years commented on it. We don’t even follow each other anymore and honestly aren’t close at all now, mostly because of his meth use over the years.
He commented:
“What you dress like a girl now or what”
I replied:
“I dress how I want. Why tf do you care or are even commenting on my page? Wbu you still dress like a meth headed bum or what.”
Then he replied:
“Wow wow wow was just joking buddy but glad you found your calling ms roach.”
I responded with:
“You’re always ‘just joking buddy.’ It gets old. You’re almost 30. You could’ve easily just been cool and said what’s up instead of being an asshole.”
For some context, this guy has always had a history of racist and homophobic comments and then plays it off like it’s a joke. He also has struggled with substance use for years and it really changed how he acts, which is why we aren’t close anymore.
From the outside, did I overreact here? Or was I reasonable to shut this down?
NTA
…But why feed the troll? Why even engage. Ignoring is generally the best. The eye roll emoji 🙄 is usually more than enough.
Instead, you let him know he got under your skin. That’s how AH win.
Because I’ve known this gross human for over 10 years use to be a good friend but since coming to terms with being trans and queer I got sick of being treated like a joke or less of a person
Sounds to me like you should have just cut this human off then.
Honestly, why didn’t you just say, “Yes, I’ve transitioned!”
You’d be surprised how empowering it is and just how much it takes the winds out of the sales of AH to act a bit oblivious and take what an AH says at face value and as a compliment.
There are other strategies that achieve more than biting back with more negativity and name calling.
NTA but you could have removed his comment or ignored it
NTA, but next time ignore it.
NTA. People always say “you could’ve been nicer” when someone finally pushes back. Funny how the burden of politeness never falls on the instigator.
Exactly!!! It is so annoying! Those people who say the rude things and then when someone gives it back they are like (wow wow wow)
NTA but just block him? Why even allow a meth head near your crap?
NTA and f those people
NTA, but block him. There’s no need to feed him or allow him to take your energy.