I’m 28F recently went on a weekend trip with three friends(2 males an a female). We’ve all known each other since college and try to do something together once a year. This year I offered to handle booking the Airbnb because I’m the most organized and I work from home, so I had time to compare prices.
Before booking anything, I sent everyone three options in our group chat with prices broken down per person. One place was cheaper but smaller, one was mid range and close to downtown, and one was more expensive but had extra amenities. After a day of back and forth, everyone agreed in writing to go with the mid range place. I confirmed again: “Is everyone okay with that and got thumbs up from all three.
I booked it on my credit card since it required full payment upfront. Everyone sent me their share within a few days.
Two weeks before the trip, one friend found a different Airbnb she liked more. It had a hot tub and a better view, but it was more cost per person. She said since it was a special occasion, no birthday or anything, just our annual trip, we should upgrade. Another friend said he wouldn’t mind paying extra. The third friend didn’t really weigh in.
I checked the cancellation policy and realized we would lose about half of what we already paid if we switched. I told them I wasn’t comfortable canceling and rebooking because it would mean either eating the cancellation fee or asking everyone to chip in even more. I also pointed out that we have already agreed and paid.
but she said I was being rigid and that trips are about experiences, not spreadsheets. She offered to cover part of the cancellation fee but not all of it. I said I appreciated the offer, but I still didn’t think it was fair to change plans this late when we’ve all agreed.
It got awkward after that. No one yelled, but the vibe in the group chat definitely shifted. One friend privately told me he sees both sides but understands why I don’t want to complicate things financially.
We ended up keeping the original booking. The trip itself was actually great. But she made a couple of comments since then about me being the trip accountant and not spontaneous.
I’m starting to wonder if I should have just gone along with the change to keep things easy and fun. I didn’t want to be controlling. I just didn’t want to create extra costs and stress after we’ve already agreed.
AITA for sticking with the original plan instead of switching to the more expensive place?
NTA. Tell her she can do the booking next time since she’s better at it.
And then offer a better option at the last minute
I like you!
My question is why was she looking at other Airbnb after y’all had booked?
Because she’s an asshole.
Exactly, she just wanted to cause unnecessary drama.
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NTA
Oof I had a friend like this…
She never helps with the planning or even suggestions but will have opinions after options are shared and voted on.
One time, out of the blue, she told me she thought the place I picked for my birthday was too pricey. The dinner was a year ago. And I shared 5 options with menus and price range details to vote on.
Oh also I planned every one in the friend groups bday celebrations…including hers…that year. But ty for the late/unprompted feedback 🙄
edited to add nta vote
NTA. This “friend” is obnoxious. I would not take on the booking again. I would let her do it.
You gave every options, and everyone agreed on the choice.
No one gets to come back later and throw away half of the money already paid.
You did nothing wrong.
NTA – but tell your friend that *they* can handle all the bookings for your next group trip.
You agreed. You booked. Money was paid. That’s not rigidity, that’s respecting commitments. Spontaneity ends once the card gets charged
You’re NTA. If she wanted to plan the trip, she should have done it from the start. Or at least pay all of the cancelation fee.
NTA. If she wants to rebook that badly, she needs to be willing to eat the entire cancellation fee. You’re not wrong about the extra costs, too. Changing the budgeted costs of the trip much closer to the date of the trip is something that a lot of people would struggle with, and while I would be willing consider a change for an upgrade like your friend wanted, I would not eat a cancellation fee on someone else’s whim.
NTA. Next time she can handle all the arrangements. She will learn how expensive being spontaneous can be.