Me and my friend (18) went on a trip by ourselves to korea. This was my second time going and i invited her as my family didnt want me travelling alone and we were both into k-culture.
So the first few days were fine, i let her take my phone most of the time to take photos as i didnt like taking any (which i had already told her about before the trip). Then on the third day she rented a hanbok and wanted a few pictures at a palace with them. I was fine at first but then she started complaining I wasnt trying hard enough to take her photos and the camera was tilted etc etc. We spent 30 minutes on this and i was quite frustrated. So when about a hour later she wanted to go to village to take photos i told her to go on her own and id visit the museum and wed meet back here. She hasn’t been talking to me and im worried I screwed up our friendship and we still have 5 days left of the trip. Should i have just sucked it up and taken the photos without complaint. I’m worried i acted rashly as i was already annoyed from a previous disagreement the previous day.
look.. you told her before the trip you dont like taking photos. she knew. and 30 minutes of “youre not trying hard enough” would frustrate anyone honestly. suggesting you split up for a bit wasnt harsh, it was practical. you didnt blow up, you didnt say anything mean, you just needed space. thats not screwing up a friendship thats just.. being human. if she cant handle that after you already compromised for days then thats on her not you. talk to her tho.. you still got 5 days left and silence makes everything worse. just be honest, say you hit your limit but you still care about the trip going well
**(NTA)**
Info. Do you not want to take any photos or is she picky and asking you to take multiple photos until she’s happy?
Kinda both. I was fine taking a few photos per place and i already told her i have no clue how to take a ‘good’ photo (they kinda all look the same to me), but then she’d constantly make me redo it cause she wasnt looking at the camera or she didnt like the angle. I wanted to help her get her photos i just didnt realise that was almost the only thing she wanted to do
NTA you need to tell her specifically that you are fine taking couple of photos per location but you will not be doing photoshoots for her. Give her a max of 2 or 3 photos per place.
Ask her to take a photo of you at each spot first showing the angle and framing she wants
NTA, this boils down to proper communication. Why didn’t you want to take her photos? I’d imagine you were preoccupied with enjoying your vacation, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your friend has expectations that you’re her photographer when that’s simply not the case, but it is important to consider the wants/needs of your friend’s without compromising your own. I think the mature thing to do here is to communicate your position politely and set some boundaries for when you’d be comfortable playing photographer – just let her know your needs as well.
YTA.
This was a big first trip for both of you, which makes it more meaningful, not less. I get that you don’t love taking pictures, but when you agreed to do it and then half-assed it (like intentionally slanted photos), that’s what makes you the AH. It stops being about “not liking photos” and starts being about not caring about something that clearly mattered to your friend.
Not every preference has to become a hill to die on. You could’ve set a boundary like “I’ll take a few good ones, but not all day,” and actually put effort into those. That would’ve respected both of you.
You can still fix this by acknowledging that the issue wasn’t the photos, it was the attitude behind them.
NTA. Sounds like she doesn’t have her own phone or camera? So the whole time she is relying on you to document every second of her vacation? That sounds annoying AF. If documenting her trip in photos was so important to her, she shouldn’t have relied on someone else’s device and someone else who already told her that they didn’t like taking photos. She can get her own camera and take her own photos.
ESH. You’ve got a lot of layers here, OP, and I suspect there’s actually a lot more going on than what you’ve written.
The simplest of facts is that your desire to not be helpful to your travel partner versus her demanding that you do something you don’t want to do to help her means this was doomed from the start.
Whatever your family might think about travelling solo, it’s obvious that it would be your preference to do so. Not doing so, inviting your friend along to make other people happy with your trip, was the wrong choice here, and it set this whole scenario up.
However, that travel partner needs to understand that you have no interest in taking pictures and she needs to figure out how to work around it. She can’t obligate you to take pictures, and more importantly, if you actively dislike taking pictures, she can’t expect much if she insists that you do.
Nta, 30 min for photos way too long. they make selfie sticks for people who are picky about angle and everything.
Two things.
First, a cellphone is an absolutely necessary safety item when travelling abroad. She needs to have her own. Find her a cheap burner that takes pictures. It’s Korea! It’ll probably cost 20 bucks!
Second, understand that picture-taking people will *never* get why we freaks don’t like taking pictures. It’s a source of pressure for them. Like sex or chocolate. For us it’s more like constipation. They will never understand.
NTA. Stick to your boundaries, but communicate and try to find ways to accommodate your different travelling styles, like getting her her own means of taking pictures.
nta you set your boundaries from the start and it’s okay to not want to spend your whole trip as someone’s personal photographer she could’ve gone solo for pics without getting upset with you it’s not your job to make every photo perfect
YTA for going nuclear and suggesting splitting up instead of just saying something like “Hey spending 30 minutes taking pictures feels a bit excessive to me, can we stick to a couple photos?”
I think you should make the best of the rest of your trip and stay off reddit. Be in the moment, laugh with your friend, take photos and have fun!! You are in Korea!! Forget the drama and have fun with your friend.