I (23 M) invited 6 of my friends (22-23 M) up to my family’s cabin in northern New England for the weekend. We were all driving up separately, and on the way I had a bit of a bathroom emergency. To preface, I had stopped by Dunkin’ Donuts on the way up (2 breakfast wraps and a large iced regular), and I rarely eat fast food or drink coffee, but was in a bit of a jam and needed a quick bite. When I was about an hour away from the cabin, my stomach was not sitting well with me at all, to put it lightly. I was in a desperate situation and pulled over when I saw a porta potty by the Ossipee Aggregate on Route 16 NH. To my dismay, the thing was locked. After that, I wasn’t able to hold it in any longer, and to put it bluntly, I had a small accident in my pants. My underwear was in a sorry state, and unfortunately had no spares as all my other underwear was in the laundry, which I left at home. There wasn’t much else I could do but clean myself off in the shower once I got to the cabin (I was the first one there and had time to myself to clean off). I was clean for the most part, with the only visible evidence being the stain on my underwear. I really hate going commando, so I reluctantly wore the same underwear.
This next part is a bit hard to explain. Once my friends showed up, we eventually started playing this game called “cheers to the governor”. Long story short, you each make up new a rule for the game as it goes on. One person suggested that we all swap pants with each other (taking them off in front of each other). My heart dropped to my stomach when I heard this, as my stained underwear would have been exposed to everyone. The rest of the group was on board with the rule (under any other circumstance I would have been too) but I had to try to casually suggest that we don’t add the rule to the game. After they all reiterated that they thought it would be funny, I had to just say “I don’t want to do this!” I felt so embarrassed, and they all looked at me like I had 3 heads. I said I don’t want to play anymore, and went upstairs to bed. I’m writing this right now while in bed, and I can hear muffled laughter through the floorboards. I feel very embarrassed and guilty that I burst out at them, but at the same time I don’t want to admit that the reason I did it was due to my stained underwear. Am I the asshole?
I didn’t read all your post as it’s way too long and boring. I stopped not long after you crapped your pants.
NTA because its okay to not want to take your clothes off in front of other people, and saying no I don’t want to should be enough. I think it’s reasonable to remove yourself and be firm when you say no and get pushed to do it anyway.
On the flip side…
Sir you are twenty three years old and went away for the weekend. I don’t care if you had to do laundry first, take some damn underwear to change into! Please for the love of god tell me you have soap in that cabin?? While you’re sulking, go wash your drawers! You can do it in the sink and let them dry, or if you have a hair dryer use that to dry them out quicker. You cannot seriously plan to walk around in dirty underwear all weekend??
Really. My oldest niece used to show up with not enough underwear for the weekend at my house. I ended up washing hers in the sink one time and hanging them on my café curtain rods in my kitchen 🙃 but the child had clean underpants.
Who goes away for the weekend without packing fresh underwear?
INFO – did you storm off (per the title and the judgement bot), or did you “say you didn’t want to play anymore, and went upstairs to bed”?
I’m leaving towards you being an AH. It sounds like it was all in good spirits. I don’t understand why you would choose to wear soiled underwear vs no underwear. I personally would told the group I’m going commando, or said in a calm voice without storming off “have fun guys but imma sit this round out”
Why would you go away for the weekend and not bring any extra pairs of underwear, were you planning on not showering the whole time?
NTA for not wanting to take off your pants but bring extra underwear if you don’t want to be embarrassed.
on one hand, they shouldn’t pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do (regardless if you’re all friends) and on the other, rule number one of traveling is: always pack more pairs than you’ll need
next time you’re in a situation similar to this (soiled underwear or otherwise) you can always clearly state that you’d “sit this one out” like others have commented. nothing wrong with setting boundaries !
This is a hard one. So I just want to suggest you be honest with your friends. Otherwise they’ll be guessing why you didn’t want to do it and maybe that’s worse?
you should have just went commando. you turned it into a way bigger problem. YTA
NTA
First of all,that is such a random rule for a game, but your NTA, just next time PLEASE pack extra underwear… idk how you plan a trip and don’t pack extra underwear you, like no judgement but we’re you just going to wear the same underwear the whole trip?
Skid marks and all. Like that wouldn’t become apparent.
Did you pack any clothes at all??