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I (19M) messaged my girlfriend (19F) that I was finished with my exam. She was waiting for me at the school canteen. It took me about 5 minutes to get there because I stopped to say a quick goodbye to some friends on my way out.
When I showed up, she was already counting the minutes and was upset that I took "too long" to walk a short distance. She asked what took me so long, and I explained that I actually thought she was waiting at the library instead of the canteen. She immediately called me out, saying it was a pathetic excuse because she had mentioned the canteen multiple times earlier.
Because I felt like I was being interrogated over a 5-minute delay, I got pretty frustrated. I started taking deep breaths and trying to stay silent to keep my composure, as I didn’t want to start a loud argument in a crowded public area. She saw me doing this and got even angrier, claiming I was giving her an attitude and being "difficult" just for asking a simple question.
She believes I am lying about the library mix-up to cover for the fact that I prioritize my friends over her time. She also pointed out that I made the choice to take public transit home with her instead of using my car, and now she feels like I’m acting like she’s a burden or that I’m "martyring" myself just to throw it in her face later.
I wasn’t being dishonest; I genuinely just had a brain fart about where we agreed to meet. I feel like being grilled over 5 minutes is exhausting, and my "attitude" was actually me trying to be the bigger person and stay calm so we didn’t have a scene. Now the commute home is completely silent and she thinks I’m "ignoring" her on purpose.
AITA?
YTA… And your explanation is to why you think you may be It’s very much why
You lied to her
what was the purpose behind not just telling her sorry I was late I stopped to say goodbye to some friends?
ESH
You did lie for the exact reason she said.
Also dumb, because you could have said “i had to take a shit after the exam” which is more believable than your feeble cover story.
ESH – You are an AH for lying about what took you so long. Your GF is a massive AH for having a fit over 5 minutes.
This doesn’t add up. You say it only took five minutes for you to reach her after stopping to say hi to friends, and then claimed you were late because you thought she was at the library. But you don’t mention stopping at the library first to look at her, which would certainly have taken additional time.
Sounds to me like she’s right to be mad at you. From reading this, there was an expectation that you would be meeting her at a specific location in a certain amount of time, you were late, and then lied about why you were late. The concerning part to me is that you had to take breaths and compose yourself while talking to her about it, which suggests you were getting overheated about it. Maybe I’m reading between the lines, but her reaction sounds more like this is something that happens a lot, and she’s sick of your shit. Why are you two even together? Do you even like each other?
You did get distracted by your friends, probably the reason you got “confused” and had to lie to cover it up. Seems there may be some points from prior experiences that created this, not the one time five minutes situation as described. Only you know whether she has a legit gripe in general but your cover up says YTA. 5 extra minutes should not be that big of a deal normally. You may want to work on your commitment to honesty, starting with yourself and extending it to others as well. 🤔
I’m skeptical that it was actually only 5 minutes.
YTA. A relationship requires honesty and when the moment came, you chose a lie instead of simply telling the truth. And to what benefit? Do you think your girlfriend is daft? She knows there was a reason and your ‘faking’ said a whole lot about you.
I hope this is a wake up to you or you’ll spend all your relationships trying to remember and cover up lies.
Remember the old Mark Twain quote.
If you tell the truth, you don’t need to remember anything.
Do better by yourself and your girlfriend.
YTA. Lying to her is literally not making anything better. You could’ve just told her you stopped to talk to your friends rq. Also, why did you take public transit when you could drive with her? If you need that to focus on urself for a while then tell her that! I really get her point, even though it is a bit much to count the minutes, but we only know your perspective. Do you have a history of prioritizing your friends over her? Not that that is wrong, but maybe you decided to spend time with ur friends even tho she needed you in that situation? I can just make assumptions, but I can tell you that you definitely need to communicate more and on a higher level. Just talk about your feelings and needs, it’s not that hard. Communication is key guys.
Yeah bro, she’s not stupid and she is may have been slightly annoyed by the 5 min but she certainly infuriated by you blatantly lying to her face. It’s just disrespect upon disrespect.
YTA what mix up you lied! You didn’t get confused you made the choice to go hang with your friends real quick and she called you on your bullshit.
YTA. You stopped to talk to a friend and then came up with this stupid lie to cover it up. You literally make yourself sound stupid for no reason.
Next time just say I was saying buy to a couple people. If she still gets mad at that point over waiting 5 min then get a new girlfriend.
YTA
You did lie.
There is nothing wrong with being stopped by people you know and chatting for a few minutes. That doesn’t indicate they are a priority. You should t have felt the need to lie about it.
Likewise, she is either very insecure and/or controlling to be upset it took you a few minutes longer than normal.
It doesn’t sound like either of you are ready for a relationship.
YTA why would you lie? Why was the truth so inflammatory? Also I hate when people play with my time. I’m suspicious, and unsure if you are a reliable narrator.
if your first reaction is to lie, i don’t blame her for being mad YTA