I’m in my mid-40s and have a daughter 21 in college for CS and a son 23 who still lives with me. My son recently bought a truck. I and my parents gifted him part of the funds but he bought it himself since he’s learning HVAC and needs something practical. My daughter has been using a 2010 Corolla we had because she said she didn’t really want a new car at the time, and after graduating might move to NYC and not need one as she did her internship there.
She’s been in two accidents with it. The first time she came home with damage and said she found it like that when it was parked. The police registered it as a hit-and-run. Then recently she got rear-ended and the driver fled according to her. While technically it wasn’t her fault I honestly think she might have stopped suddenly or backed into something herself and didn’t admit it. Statistically it seems suspicious she drives way less than I do and I haven’t had an accident in years.
Because of this I decided to take away her car privileges for now. My son still drives his truck because he hasn’t had accidents recently and I feel he will need it for work. My daughter is upset and says it’s unfair she’s being treated differently but I feel like this is about responsibility and safety. She says she does not text and drive but she is always on her phone compared to my son and always texting and calling people, out with friends at night, unlike my son. If she is not being truthful I could also get in trouble for insurance fraud.
AITA here?
YTA because you’re assuming without actual factual evidence for these incidents, and you know what happens when you assume.
YTA. It seems to me like you don’t trust your daughter to tell you the truth. Did the police say that she was at fault for the rear-end? If not, that would lead me to believe that the police believed her in both instances? Are you better at discerning the truth than they are??? You have absolutely no evidence that she did anything wrong, but you’re punishing her anyway
Yta
You suspecting something is not evidence and without evidence you are quite simply punishing her unjustly. Your behaviour is based on bias and so yeah you are the asshole
YTA. Two accidents, neither appear to be her fault but you think you should punish her anyway? Massive AH.
“Technically it wasn’t her fault but I think she did something”
YTA
You keep saying “according to her” like you think she is lying yet you didn’t provide any information showing she is a habitual liar. So from what you’ve said, she is not at fault. Period.
Also, you said your son hasn’t been in any accidents “recently” and your daughter feels it’s unfair. So when he got in an accident, did you take away his driving privileges?
A better way would have been to get a dash cam and let the girl drive. Taking away privileges without proof is NOT the way to teach responsibility or good citizenship.
I get the underlying tone that he thinks girls are bad drivers “statistically”. And I do not like him for that.
OP is YTA
Honestly, OP is TA just for lying to us in the title. Somebody crashing into your parked car is not “getting into an accident”
You said *she* got into accidents, and imply *she* caused them.
Unless proven otherwise, she got hit by two people in parkinglots and you’re punishing her for that.
YTA for exaggerating. My answer would absolutely be different if she had two at-fault accidents.
You’re punishing her for two accidents that you have no evidence she caused. YTA
Your daughter has two accidents that aren’t her fault and you punish her tho she’s grown? She needs to get her own car. She’s on her phone all the time while NOT driving so you just ASSUME she’s on it while driving? YTA. And a major one for constantly comparing your kids and just assuming your daughter is lying.
YTA. Unless you have a reason to believe she is lying, she deserves the benefit of the doubt.
Especially a REAR END accident – she’s by default NOT at fault.
Practically you install dashcam(s).
Truthfully, sounds like you inherently think she’s a bad driver because she’s a female.
And what, precisely, does your daughter going out with her friends at night, have to do with her driving ability?!
ETA: thank you so kindly for the award 😊
YTA… She was on the ‘hit’ side of a hit and run, and got rear ended. Those are both ‘The other person is at fault’ accidents, so unless you have some concrete evidence that she’s actually being neglectful somehow, you’re punishing her for what others are doing to her/her car.
INFO: how long have you disliked your daughter? Unless she has a history of dishonesty, it’s pretty concerning that your first assumption is that she’s lying to both you and police. YTA, unless there’s more to the story.