I lived in a 3B/3Br in SF, where tenant rights are good. Recently, one of my roommates and I accepted jobs to move outside of SF, leaving our 3rd roommate. We had reached out to our landlord about getting subtenants set up for the remainder of our lease. In this conversation, the landlord indicated he would Buy us out of our lease, paying us a sum of money to break the lease early (3rd roommate included). This is because we signed this lease at a time when the rental market was a softer than it is now, and would easily fetch 1000+ more a month in rent, and we are protected by SF Rent Control
Originally, we were shocked at this and all discussed the pros/cons together. The 3rd roommate who was not leaving SF, was in the situation of having to find a new place in SF, or reject the agreement and take subletters. He was taking long coming to a decision, and me and our other roommate felt as if he was being affected more since we were leaving anyways, and now had to take the time to find a completely new place in a higher rental market. We agreed to sweeten the pot for him by saying not to split this settlement evenly. Even after this offer, he was still taking some time and the clock was ticking for us since signing an agreement of this nature has to be unanimous, and it was getting near rent being due and myself and the other roommate would have to pay rent since whoever we wanted to sublet the place didnt sign unless they knew the place wouldn’t be bought out
It got to the point where myself and my other roommate offered him our ENTIRE portion of the buyout to get him to come to a decision faster. His reasoning for taking some time with his decision being that a lot of things were keeping him in this apartment and in SF in general, but time was running out and my other roommate and I were desperate for a resolution or risk paying double rent until this decision was made
Finally, before my roommate and I have to move to start our new jobs (other side of the country), he comes to the decision to take the buyout agreement and stay in SF and look for and find a new place. We think we are settled and happy that we were able to reach a conclusion
Fast forward a couple days, and he lets us know that his personal circumstances have changed and is now moving to the other side of the country (same city as me and my other roommate) with his timeline only being a month more than ours in which he moved
My other roommate and I feel at this point that we have been completely taken advantage of in this buyout agreement, where we offered our portions of the settlement to appease him and help make his decision faster, and when we asked if we could reopen the conversation to revisit the terms of the buyout agreement, he told us he wants to keep the full amount that we gave him, even though he is now moving to the same city as us in pretty much the same timeline as us. We don’t think we are asking for too much, but he seems to think this is unreasonable. AITA?
nah mate u got played. the whole reason u gave up your cut was bc he was “stuck in SF.” that reason evaporated the second he booked a flight to your city. asking to revisit terms aint greedy.. its common sense. NTA
**(NTA)**
YTA OP and his partner made their joint roommate an offer to give him all the bonus money to agree to accept the lease buyout. He accepted. Done deal.
He stitched you right up. He played this so well. He can move without spending his own money. Keep your share and tell him to do one. NTA
I’m torn between NTA and ESH but leaning more towards NTA because I think you weren’t an asshole just foolish. he played you honestly, I bet he was dragging his feet because he was waiting to hear about a job or some opportunity. Personally I think you never should have given up your share— you could have said “you need to decide by x date or you are responsible for the rent for next month/it comes out of the settlement”. See how your landlord is planning to pay this out and try to get separate payouts so you don’t have to ask him for your share you just have it. you could then decide if you want to pay for the last months rent or any other expenses. your offer (though ill advised) was based on the premise that he would be staying in a HCOL city and have to scramble for housing and that’s not the case (and also what the buyout is for!! and also why some people negotiate an even higher buyout than offered)
Agreed!!!
While YNTA, and he IS kind of one (from what I am understanding) am I correct that the ONLY difference is WHERE he is moving that you guys are upset about? If so, perhaps the NICE thing to do would to pay out equally, but I can see where he feels entitled to the whole amount you all had agreed on
You got played
YTA tho asshole is a strong term. you were ready to move and started the discussion with the landlord. It rushed him into thinking his plans that maybe he wouldn’t have pursue without you pressuring him on the buyout, despite it meaning that he wouldn’t have to find a new place fast at higher rent probably.
He’s a much better poker player than you are!
NTA-Roomate very much TA. He definitely played you to get him a nice cushion for his move. Revisiting at this time is useless. All you can do is completely cut him out of your lives and move on. You won’t make the same mistake twice.
I could be confused, but it sounds like you made this offer to him so you could get out of the rental agreement – he agreed and now you want to take it back? If that’s the case, you would be TA. Maybe it’s annoying that he’s moving now instead of staying, but if he agreed to something to enable you to do what you want, I don’t see why you’d try to get out of it…
YTA. He has had to change his plans at short notice because you wanted to break the rental. He is not obliged to rush such a big decision because it is inconvenient to you. You offered him the money to make his decision faster and that is what he did. The money was not conditional on his new arrangements meeting your approval. Even if he had been considering moving, he still had to change his plans around to suit you at short notice. The money compensates that.