Me, my friend and his ex met at the same time a bit more than a year ago. We all became close friends and often called each other and met up. After a couple of months, my male friend started flirting with my female friend and after a bunch of flirting and texting later (he was the only one flirting), they got together. They told me about their relationship after a couple of days and I had no issue with it since I remained very close friends with them.
A couple of weeks later, my male friend started sending weird videos with captions such as ”Respectfully I wanna make out with you until we both can’t breathe”. I specifically remember that one because my female friend talked to me about it as she felt very uncomfortable with it. He kept sending these ”weird videos” and she didn’t know how to tell him how she felt about it.
After a while, they broke up as she couldn’t take these weird comments. She told him why but I think he didn’t really understand because after that he changed. He became more silent, almost depressed it felt like. He later stopped with this behavior, but it left many wondering what happened to him. (they hadn’t told anyone but me about their relationship)
Everything seemed fine after that until he realized that I still talked to the female friend, now his ex. I figured since they weren’t together for very long, we could all remain friends, as we used to be. But he had a different idea. He hated that I still talked to her because he thought I liked her and was trying to get together with her. I assured him that wasn’t the case at all and that I just wanted things to go back to normal. He does not believe me.
When me and him meet up IRL, he’s super friendly and nice and we’re basically best friends. But as soon as we go online, he starts talking crap about me or saying I like his ex.
I love them both as friends and I really can’t ”pick” one of them to keep. I don’t know what to do anymore, he’s so nice IRL but rude over the internet. Cutting ties with him is also really complicated since some of his other best friends are also really good friends of mine.
VERY IMPORTANT TO ADD: He does NOT hate his ex. He even wants her back and I think he sees me as some competition which is so stupid because I keep telling him I’m not trying to ”steal” his ex. Even after they broke up he sometimes sent weird stuff to her.
I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he either starts whining like a 12-year-old about how I like her, or he blocks me. IRL he ignores me on that subject.
Am I the asshole for talking to his ex when he doesn’t want me to? What should I do?
Screams YTA. What bothers me is you have to ask reddit
Why though?
Are you projecting, or something? What makes them an AH in this situation?
Not the asshole. It’s unfortunate what happened between them but you get to decide who you’re friends with.
NTA.
Here’s what’s going on: your friend is a possessive creep and he’s not your friend. He started dating a woman, made her uncomfortable, got upset that she broke up with him, refused to let it lie and is trying to get her back even though she told him he was creeping her out, and is trying to isolate her from her other friends because he sees himself as in competition for a woman who, and I cannot stress this enough, *left him over the fact that he was being creepy and refused to acknowledge it.*
Disentangling is going to be a pain, but maybe just step back from him as much as possible and stay friends with his ex.
NTA but he sounds like he’s *not* a friend? wtf. The choice is a cool friend or your “friend” who things you’re trying to get with his ex…. And is mean online? Why do that to yourself?
NTA. He needs to move on.
NTA. Your friend probably thought he was being romantic, but it just sounded creepy or obsessive.
But he shouldn’t be telling you who you should be friends with if you were friends with his ex before they met, and introduced them to each other tbh.