I a female has been going this new school since March. Every thing went well the first couple months i made friends and was finally healing from my past relo. I was writing an assignment during break time that needed to be submitted that day. I was left with this guy in class when he suddenly came up to me to ask for a hug. I gently sad no that i was busy with my work and honestly didnt wanna hug him. He pleaded with me for awhile and started manipulating saying me how he wont eat until i give him a hug. Wtff!? I got angry like i barely knew him and he already pulling this shit i got mo aggressive saying no , no , no! Starve yourself if you want its your choice not mine. I agree maybe i was too harsh but honestly he pissed me off bad.
A few days later hes friend started talking to me ….ok? I talked to him normally so we started talking more and more but everytume we did he would always mention his friend lets call him T . He’d try to get me close to T but he lowkey creeped me out. Then one day we were sitting together T , his friend and I and his friend told me that T has a crush on me. I gently sad no cause im not looking to date i told him for reasons ill keep to myself . T kept pestering his friend to hook us up but i still declined and declined till we sat together one day i explained how i couldnt reciprocate hes feeling because of my ex and stuff and he was still persistent. Talking about how id feel better with him how i’d heal better which is honestly crazy but i refused.
Then he started looking at me during class not these cute stealing glances but like full blown staring at me . I would catch him staring and he would even have the decency to look away. It got worse and worse . Hes walk to where i was sitting and just pass me pretending hes going elsewhere , write my name on school supplies , ask to take me home or where i live and it made me uncomfortable. Just this week he acted like he needed something from the area i sit at and just went to the door . I was talking to my friend laughing at each others dumb answers we wrote in the test as it was exam session and when i looked back i saw him supporting himself with the door looking me with this smitten look like he was thinking of something he should’ve . And that creeped me off badly honestly and he didn’t even break contact again . I was so uncomfortable and my mood shifted to anger cause I’m tryna heal over a breakup and he’s causing unnecessary trouble. I went up to him and told him to stop staring at me , it wasn’t cute, it wasn’t making me grow any feelings , it make me uncomfortable as he’s analyzing my every move . I told him to get a life , stop acting mental and to fuck off. I said way more cause he legit ruined my day and i couldn’t handle such unwanted attention but i feel i was too harsh so AITA foe telling my classmates to fuck off
NTA at all, and this dude is showing a lot of red flags. He doesn’t respect you and has shown you he wont take no for an answer. Report him to the teachers or principal or a counceller and do your best to never be stuck anywhere alone with him. Not every creep is dangerous but its better to treat the situation like he could be, you never know what people are capable of or willing to do.
I did report him but they say its just staring and that he might be lost in thought looking my way. They arent helpful at all
Since the school doesn’t care, you need to ESCALATE IT TO THE POLICE. There needs to be a timeline etc established of WHEN and WHAT you told the school, WHO you told, and what’s the response to this situation was…
Contact the police and explain to them what’s going on. Ask them if you are allowed to video him without his permission/ without his knowledge where you live…
Hopefully they say you can and you can gather video evidence of exactly what he’s doing and his facial expressions etcetera. He can not be aware you are filming. If he knows, he’ll stop or act differently.
YOU MAY BE ABLE TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM. HE SEEMS OBSESSIVE, WHICH IS DANGEROUS FOR YOU!!! (IF HE CAN’T HAVE YOU, NOBODY CAN).
NTA It sounds like you put up with a ton already, in as polite and mature a way as anyone in that position could be expected to manage. No shame in finally snapping, I’m shocked you lasted as long as you did!
I agree with the other poster- you need to report this creep to whoever you can: teachers, counselor, principal! Then do your best to avoid the hell out of him and his creepy friends! I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
Also, I hope you know, you don’t owe anyone a hug, ever!
I tried reporting but to no avail they took this so lightly. Ive stayed away from his friends i just talk for the sake of politeness incase its a different topic
NTA. If reporting isn’t helping (sadly unsurprising) start documenting everything. Take pictures. Videos. Keep a journal. You may need it someday, unfortunately. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Its fine its really not your fault. I have been journaling, telling people about it so they can tell him to stop
NTA
You did nothing wrong at all, the only thing I’d say is you should have stopped after the I couldn’t reciprocate his feelings and not added the reason. A guy will try to “fix” the problem. In his eyes you said, that if he can help you get over your ex, you’d have feelings for him.
Now that you’ve clearly shown him, there is zero chance you’re going to develop feelings for him and he’s being creepy. If he continues this behavior, you need to report him.
NTA. I had a large, mixed gender friend group in college.
One of them was, to start with, a decent friend. We’d all hang in large and small groups and individually from time to time. He asked to hang out individually more often, no problem, but I was not interested in more than a friend.
I was surprised to find out that he was telling our mutual friends that I wasn’t spending enough time with him or appreciating him.
I studied and worked, and over a two week period, hung out with him individually about 6 evenings. Leaving little time for anything else, or my other friends.
I was told the above by multiple friends over time that he said I wasn’t “giving him enough”. We hung out one evening after that, when he personally told me that he wanted to go out with me but I wasn’t dedicating enough time to him, even as a friend. Just laying guilt on in a really infuriating way.
I exploded out of frustration, screamed at him that I didn’t want to go out with him, that I’d put more effort into our friendship than other friends that I’d love to see instead of spending time with someone who was talking about me behind my back all the time and trying to guilt me into something I didn’t want. I screamed till I ran out of words and left.
I heard from mutual friends that I’d frightened him so badly that he didn’t want to go out with me anymore. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since – and never regretted it or felt guilty in 10 years.
Trust your gut, don’t waste time on men who only care about what they want. And honestly if he still continues, I’d report it to your school. He’s not just bordering on harassment – he is harassing you, and with support from his friends. Keep a notebook and write down everything you notice about his creepy behaviour (and comments from his friends), keep dates and times – data will help you back up your points to the school. If they don’t take action, advise them you’re going to the police.
He’ll probably tell people you blew up out of no where, totally forgetting how many times you’ve said “No” since this began. Don’t regret your actions or feel guilty for setting boundaries with someone who doesn’t respect you as a person.
NTA, but FATWO with that long-ass screed and no separations.
NTA. It’s good that you told him off. Now draw the line: no more interacting with him or his friends, “for politeness sake” or for any other reason. Any response, any attention, just feeds these guys.