So I’ve talked to a friend about this but he is very much like me and I wanted other people opinion and views on the matter. Since this happened the girl has made 0 contact with me and I don’t really know If I should try to reach out to her and bring what happened again so we can talk it out or im just tripping and overthinking things.
Basically what happened is that me and this girl were in a group voice call with a bunch of her friends (all dudes if that matters) she usually plays with. She texted me even though we were in the voice chat actively talking about stuff and having a great time. In the text she invited me to play with her and a girl friend I’ve played with before to a co-op game which I really enjoy. I, being the Voice Chat already figure that she was just texting me so I could hear her because other dudes were already talking and as soon as there is space I answer on the call saying that I would be available, no problem but that I had to check on the exact time. And at that point she started messaging me like crazy telling me to shut up and that she didn’t want the rest to hear about the Invite, that’s the reason she texted me. I just texted back multiple questions marks and leaved it at that not wanting to say anything else while on the call with her friends present ( I generally prefer talking over text because text can be misinterpreted, but more so if we’re already on a call ) and spend another hour or so while on call playing, nothing else that day.
The next day she messaged me various times during the day saying if I would be available to play and so, but in the end I texted her that I really hated the way she invited me and that I would not feel okey with myself accepting those types of invitations, she apologized and I told her there was nothing to apologize for but I would not accept those invites. After that there have been 0 communication between the two of us and its been a couple of weeks like that, we talked a couple of days ago because our mutual girl friend reached out to play a game in common but neither of us bringed what happened up.
So that’s it, I don’t really know why I hated the way she invited me, could be that I wanted her to be upfront and brave about inviting Me in front of her friends or that she couldn’t be honest with said friends, maybe a little bit of both. When I want to invite someone exclusively to something I have no problem in inviting them in front of everyone and if someone wants to join I just tell them that wanted to hangout with the other person specifically at that time, maybe it’s just me.
Thanks in advsnce for everyone who read all of it and I really would appreciate if anyone responded with their point of view, this is my first post on reddit
YTA bro. you freaked out because she was trying to hang out with just you and not everyone you were talking to at once. you blew it.
You were invited to something but didn’t like how it was done? …and then, you gave someone grief for doing so? You sound like the family members who don’t “save the date” because they don’t like that they were told via email instead of by snail-mail. YTA
Did it ever occur to you that perhaps she asked you privately because she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling or make them feel left out? Just because you have no problem inviting people to hang out while others are around doesn’t mean she is comfortable doing that. The fact you feel hatred over such a thing is a little extra, too. YTA
YTA and your reasoning for knocking back those invites is, quite frankly, stupid
YTA, do you truly not understand the purpose of an invitation to an individual vs a group? Do you invite all of your friends and family to every outing/date/event you go to?
YTA you need to develop some better social skills dude.
YTA. She didn’t want to invite everyone or feel rude about not inviting. But the good news is she probably doesn’t really want to hang out with 9you any longer, so you won’t have to deal with that again.
YTA
YTA
There is nothing wrong with texting someone privately while in a group call. Especially for an invite for something like this, and it is normal and expected practice to respond in the same manner you were contacted.
>I really hated the way she invited me and that I would not feel okey with myself accepting those types of invitations,
What types of invitations? Ones by text? Ones privately texted in a group chat? Ones just for you? I am failing to see the problem with the “type” of invitation.
Not everybody wants to “be upfront and brave” about asking someone out to something else. Nor do they want to have to deal with disinviting other people. And some people don’t like being on the spot when asked in front of a whole bunch of other people, either.
You made a big deal out of nothing. And you’ve damaged your friendship with this woman in the process.
So she only wanted you and another of her friends to play, so she messaged you privately. She didn’t want the entire group in the chat just you. And then you get your nickers in a twist because she asked YOU.
Of course YTA.
Sounds like you need to work on your control issues. People are going to do and say things in ways you don’t like, its quite an extreme reaction that you had over something this small. YTA
YTA. This is just plain weird. You hated that she invited you a particular way, you say you don’t even really know why other than you wanted her to “just be brave” (what?) so your nitpicking her like she’s a child and you’re her mother? And then she apologizes and you tell her not to apologize but you’re still harping on it? So, what, you just want her to phrase everything she says to you in the exact way you would or else you’re gonna get snippy with her? It sounds like you have some control issues.
YTA. She most likely messaged you privately because she didn’t want to include the other people. I would feel like an ass if I asked one specific person if they wanna do something in a group and then other people are like “I wanna do xyz too” and then have to tell them no, shit I wouldn’t even tell them no I’d probably just feel like I have to let them play now. Cuz it’s incredibly rude to single everyone else out in a group like that.
YTA Jesus there’s no pleasing you.
She wanted to keep it from her friends, maybe she’s embarrassed by you, but seems unlikely since you were invited to the call. Or she didn’t want THEM to join, which seems more likely.
And, most people consider it rude to invite people to something in front of people that aren’t also being invited.
And then you doubled down when she apologized for…. no reason. You don’t even know why you’re big mad.