I am 38 weeks pregnant. Yesterday I had an appointment with a midwife I had never seen before. The medical assistant told me to dress down because I was scheduled for a cervical check and to get my 39 week induction set up, which they only schedule if you are dilated. I have high risk factors documented in my chart, and I had been having regular contractions since early that morning.
The midwife came in, barely swabbed me for my GBS test, and immediately told me she saw no medical reason to check my cervix and no reason to schedule an induction. She also insisted I was not high risk, even though my chart literally lists the risk factors that qualified me for earlier monitoring in the first place. I tried to explain that I was actively contracting and had been since 3 AM, and she said, “I have been with you a couple minutes and I do not see you contracting.”
She dismissed every concern I brought up, acted like I was wasting her time, and refused to provide any of the care I had been scheduled for. She also seemed extremely reluctant to touch me at all. I am Mexican and she is white, and the way she spoke to me and shut me down made me feel like there was bias at play.
I finally told her I did not like her attitude, we were not going to work well together, and I did not want her on my care team. She said “fine” and asked if I needed anything else. I told her to please leave so I could get dressed and go.
Later on, I checked my chart and saw that she documented a “history of victim partner abuse.” I have never said anything even remotely close to that. It is completely false and incredibly inappropriate to add to my medical record. I felt sick seeing it.
I called the office manager to file a complaint because I am furious. This midwife refused scheduled care, dismissed real symptoms, ignored documented high risk factors, and added a fabricated abuse history to my chart. I want her nowhere near me or my pregnancy.
My partner thinks that telling her straight up that I did not want her involved in my care might have come across harsh. I feel like I was well within my rights to advocate for myself in that moment.
So… AITA for telling the midwife I did not want her on my care team and filing a complaint about her conduct?
NTA for refusing to see her again. You can decide who gets to give you medical treatment.
NTA for making a complaint. Her behaviour was incredibly inappropriate, and wouldn’t surprise me if it was racially motivated.
NTA.
You advocated for yourself and your pregnancy, she would have lead you to harm, and then she fabricated that you have an abuse history you don’t have, that could have affected your birth. I would be be tempted to pursue legal action.
NTA. Your partner is wrong. But don’t be too mad at him. He’s just afraid you will be at risk because you asserted yourself. Go to the skies to get that remark removed from your chart. Include a lawyer from the beginning so they know you mean business. This woman needs to be fired for this.
Im not even sure where to start. What kind of lawyer? Like a medical malpractice one?
I’m a physician and you are definitely NTA in this situation. I’m so sorry this was your experience! I hope other members of that group treat you with kindness and respect
NTA—she was actively endangering you and your baby, and potentially sabotaging future care by adding false info to your chart.
She should be fired and investigated, because if she did it to you, she’s done it to others.
Not sure why the husband wanted a more chill reaction, if anybody falsely added victim of partner abuse to my file, I’d insist neither me or my partner ever set foot in the same room as them ever again.
Harsh? She should be reported to the licensing board and be threatened with a discrimination lawsuit for endangering you and your baby’s health
Fuck her, and your husband needs to be protecting YOU
NTA
This exactly. NTA
Absolutely! And even though I’m normally baffled by the amount of women who let their MIL, parents, friends etc into the delivery room instead of only their husband, this time I’d suggest bringing someone not afraid of speaking up for you when you go into labour. You’ll be in a vulnerable situation and super focused on giving birth, you’ll need someone by your side to handle what’s happening around you.
The husband not realising how damaging this could be to him is so naive. He needs to get his priories together. Someone literally tried to set him up! OP I hope you report this woman!
There is no universe in which you are the asshole in this situation. This woman is very clearly racist and should absolutely not be involved in your care. I wouldn’t stop at a complaint either, I’d be lawyering up and throwing phrases like “racial discrimination”, “negligence”, and “falsifying medical records” at the admin staff. They need to get this woman out of there before she kills someone. NTA
NTA and file a complaint with her license board bc holy cow she is dangerous to patients
NTA.
If you are in the US, you have the legal right to have incorrect information removed from your medical record. That is federal law — part of HIPAA — not some “best practice” or office policy.
Demand that the false statement be amended *immediately*. To take advantage of the law, you need to submit this in writing.