I (24M) and in a band. I have 4 other bandmates. We all get along and have been friends for a long time.
But the problem is when we play shows. Not regular shows though, they are corporate. Our drummer wants to vape to relieve stress in between songs. But these shows aren’t “cool shows.” They are formal shows that we have to play to pay the bills. We do that so we can eventually play the cool shows.
We get booked for corporate jobs. So it’s like.. I feel like. Adults that count on us to be professional at these conventions don’t want to see the drummer vaping even though he’s stressed.
I’ve asked him if he could kindly walk to the green room and do that and come back.
And he’s refused. I would be fine if he would walk away so nobody sees.
info – is smoking/vaping permitted in the venue?
NTA, he needs to understand professionalism. have you tried offering him nicotine gums??
NTA but check with the other band members and the individual venue in case it’s forbidden anywhere.
Very unprofessional unless vaping is allowed in the venue. Drummer needs to get it together and save the vape for set breaks/ before and after the show, not between songs. If it’s a nicotine thing he should look into a non vape alternative like the pouches or gum
NTA. As a former vaper, I know that nobody wants that blowing on them. He can step out for a minute.
As a guy who currently smokes/vapes, NTA. There’s a time and place for it, and it’s usually never in a corporate setting.
I’m in the trades and half the time smoking/vaping isn’t even allowed on *construction sites*. Your buddy is being an inconsiderate jackass.
I don’t know how you fix that problem, but yeah if you’re looking for validation, you’ve got it from me.
Yes, its inconsiderate. Thank you for understanding
An anecdote, since you’re in the trades: my extended family owns a mechanical contracting company and I used to work summers and holidays driving a truck delivering stuff to job sites in the 1980s. Even though freaking EVERYONE (including me) smoked, chewed or rubbed tobacco in the eighties, yes, there were strict rules about it on the job sites. No contractor wants to get shit from the client about cigarette butts and tobacco spit stains all over their factory floor.
OTOH, I saw my uncles light cigarettes using welding rod and cutting torches with their welding hood flipped up for a short break. Tradesmen are a unique breed 🙂
NTA
I grew up with musicians that worked the “professional gigs”. From weddings, to graduations, to corporate parties, and so on: there’s a bit of an image that you usually need to keep while working them, which is wildly different from a regular show.
Talk to him, and the band. Look up how other bands perform in these environments as examples. Check the rules for the venues. Having things that back you up can often help in these situations.
Good luck!
NTA if playing out stresses him that much maybe he’s not cut out to be a drummer that plays out.
NTA,
as a musician your drummers an idiot.
I don’t know where you are, but where I live, vaping in venues is illegal and would get you kicked out, and certainly ruin your professional reputation. NTA
Is he vaping pot or tobacco?
If it’s pot, he can just have an edible.
If it’s tobacco, he can get one of those little pouches to hold between his gums.