My best friend has ignored me after my dads cancer diagnosis. My friend lets call her poppy, has always been quite odd but i love her for that. She has always struggled with hanging out outside of college, like over the summer i offered to go out with her but she was unavalabe but as soon as i went abroud she whanted to go out. When i came back to college she was telling me about how bad her mental health got while i was away and how she really whanted to hang out with me. In september and october me and my dad got very sick, and we both got blood test, turns out i was fine but my dad was diagnosed with myeloma and tumors in his limph nodes. When i told poppy she got quiet and stoped messaging me completely (we would message on and of at this point) unless i messaged first but it would take her days to reply. Then it got to the point when we would be on the bus to college and all she would talk about was her mental health struggles, but when i would try to say i understand she would cut me off and tell me i would never understand, it got to the point where i could never give my imput or talk about something i whanted to. It has got on my nerves now as she is completely ignoring me but acting all happy with all my other friends, as she never talks about mental health with them. It has got to the point that if im with my other friends and shes around she will death glare me. All i whant to do is ask her what her problem is but she will not let me. I genuinely dont know what to do and i just whant to scream and tell her that i do care about her but my dad is literally dieing. Another thing she has done is tell me that my colleges councillor will not help me and i shoudnt see her instead i should go to the doctors about mental health as thats what she does. Am i the asshole for telling her about my dad, as i genuinely think ive done nothing wrong
NTA. Your friend needs some serious therapy. It’s understandable to struggle with mental health issues, but that shouldn’t diminish her ability to be a decent human and acknowledge the fact that your dad is sick and that you are also struggling. She’s not a good friend and you should distance yourself for the sake of your mental health.
Well I guess if you’re a depressed self-centered attention-seeking narcissist as OP’s friend is, you could be a terrible friend.
It sounds like she’s afraid that now you’ll be occupied with someone else and won’t give all your energy to her. NTA, you deserve done compassion too.
NDA and you know it yourself but what how can you someone like that call your best friend?
“Poppy” is not your friend.
NTA. And sorry to hear about your dad.
What did the Doctor day his odds were like?
NTA, idk what’s up with your friend but sounds like she has her own issues. Which should be none of your worries right now. Focus on people that stand by you, and give you the strength you need.
Your “friend” is a user. She will be your friend as long as she’s receiving support from you. The second you might need support from her, she has bailed on you.
You really do learn who your true friends are when you’re in the middle of a crisis. It sucks to learn that people you would have done anything for, will drop you like a hot potato the second shit gets real.
Also don’t listen to her about the councillor, go see them. If the councillor thinks you will benefit from seeing a Dr too, they will tell you.
NTA.
It sounds like you’re dealing with a narcissist. You need better friends. No need to do anything, this friendship is already dead. Let it go, you have more important things to do. Go to that college councilor, spend time with your father, focus on your studies and on positive relationships
NTA for telling her your dad has cancer unless you were lying, which you weren’t. Poppy isn’t a good friend. Move on.
NTA
She has chosen you as her listening friend. You are only there to listen to her vent. She just wants you to tell her she’s amazing and has such a hard lif. She doesn’t actually care about you. This isn’t friendship.
Nta, get a better friend. Also it’s “wanted” there’s no H in the word. This poppy girl sounds like she doesn’t really care about you as a friend or a person, and only sees you as the sponge to soak up her bullshit, so the moment you started going through something devastatingly rough, she got offended that you have a real people life
NTA. Poppy is NOT your friend. She is clearly an energy vampire who only wants you around when you can serve her emotional needs plain and simple. But when you had a real crisis that required her to support you, she bailed because she can’t handle the attention being off herself.
The death glares and telling you not to see a counselor are active attempts to isolate and hurt you. You should now not ask her what the problem is, the problem is that she is selfish!
Focus on your dad and the friends who actually treat you well. You didn’t do anything wrong, you just stopped being her therapist.
NTA, she is not your friend, unfortunately she just uses you to be her personal trauma/complaint/general dumping ground. She is not the slightest bit interested in supporting you, please get better friends.