I (38F), “Charlotte,” got a phone call from a former close friend (33F, “Darcy”). We haven’t had a meaningful conversation or spent time together in over four years. She is currently roommates with my very best friend of 10 years (32F, “Glenda”).Darcy is getting married this summer, which I’m genuinely happy for. She wants to start married life without a roommate, which is understandable. The problem is Glenda can’t really afford to live on her own, rent is very high, her family lives out of state, I live a couple cities away with my little family . When Glenda moved in with Darcy, they were both single. Within a month, Darcy met her fiancé, moved him in, and got engaged all in under a year. Again, happy for her, but it’s a lot for Glenda to process and now she has to start over housing-wise.Darcy called me to ask how I thought Glenda would handle being asked to move out sometime this summer before the wedding. At the start of the call, Darcy said she wanted the conversation kept confidential. I told her that Glenda and I had already discussed this possibility and that Glenda knew it was likely coming.
After the call, I chose to tell Glenda what Darcy said. Glenda and I are extremely close we own a business together, talk daily, and she is my person. I knew that when Darcy eventually told her, Glenda would be very upset and come to me anyway, and I didn’t feel right pretending I knew nothing.Glenda took the news harder than expected and was very emotional. She decided she couldn’t handle an in-person conversation and instead texted Darcy calmly, acknowledging she understood Darcy wanted her to move out this summer and that she was looking at options.As soon as that happened, Darcy started sending me angry texts saying I betrayed her trust and told Glenda before she had the chance to do it herself. I tried to explain that everything was resolved and that Glenda was fine, but Darcy is still furious with me. background, Darcy and I used to be part of a close friend group years ago, but we drifted apart as our lives changed. Glenda and I remained very close. So AITA for telling my best friend something her roommate asked me to keep confidential?
Absolutely YTA. they would’ve had their own conversation. It was not your place to step in best friend or not.
YTA. If you weren’t going to keep the conversation confidential, you should have told Darcy that.
Just saying Glenda was aware of the issue wasn’t enough. And she obviously wasn’t prepared to hear Darcy’s plan.
I can’t help but think this is exactly what Darcy wanted. I mean, she called you out of the blue, told you something of huge importance to your best friend, then expected you to keep it secret? I mean, that’s just nuts. Why on earth would she tell you? The only thing that makes sense to me is she actually wanted you to tell Glenda so she could then pretend to be the wronged person while not having to deal with the fallout. NTA.
Agree nta
You are 1TRILLION percent the AH. There was no reason to say anything at all. It wouldn’t have changed the outcome. You are such a jerk. You are a terrible friend.
YTA. It wasn’t your conversation to have, regardless of the strength of each friendship. If you wanted to stick your nose in and meddle, the LEAST you could’ve done was let Darcy know you’d be informing Glenda.
YTA why didn’t you just encourage Darcy to tell Glenda soon so Glenda could have ample time to process?
Darcy called you wanting to know how Glenda would likely react so she could properly prepare to have that conversation with her. You hurt both of them by getting in the middle of a roommate thing.
Absolutely
YTA
You said Glenda knew this was coming and you didn’t give Darcy time to schedule the conversation.
I would have stated that you weren’t comfortable keeping a secret from your best friend and give Darcy a minimal grace period to tell her. You’re NTA for not keeping something from your best friend but you needed to be upfront about it.
Did you tell Darcy that you wouldn’t share the information? If so, YTAH
If you knew you were going to tell Glenda, then you should have made that clear up front, so Darcy could have made the decision to tell her first, if she wanted to.
In general, even if it involves your best friend, it’s generally best to stay out of someone’s else’s business. You could have been there for Glenda when she found out.
Darcy also should have kept the information to herself. She had no reason to tell you before Glenda (this doesn’t excuse your behavior though.
You are 10000% the asshole. You don’t deserve the gift of a confidence.
Yta
NTA, but I don’t understand why Glenda was upset, or why this even needed to be told to her. If Darcy’s getting married this summer I would assume her and her husband would want their own place.