For context, my boyfriend is Catholic (I am atheist), but he doesn’t really subscribe to most church teachings other than to be a good person. He doesn’t actively go to church unless he’s visiting family, and they alternate between a United and Catholic church because his parents are different denominations. He was confirmed when he was younger in the Catholic church after his parents gave him the option to be either or (he didn’t really know what that meant at the time).
He recently mentioned that he does communion at both churches, which struck me as odd. At least for the Catholic one, they seem stricter, and I read once it was bad to do it and not be in a state of grace, which he would not be, unless he went to confession for it.
I called it weird and contradictory, and I said I don’t see the point in doing it unless you’re gonna do those traditions right.
His reasonings were he likes doing it, they won’t know, and it’s a free snack. I pointed out it was a rather flippant view for something so serious and he got upset and started talking about how he believes he should, and does at both because he believes in a god that loves and accepts everyone and how he’s doing what feels right. He also started talking about how it’s humans who are flawed ones more than anything. Aita for saying it was weird to take communion? Should I have just let this issue drop instead of making him upset about it?
Edit: I read that having premarital intimacy disqualifies you from taking communion (at least for Catholics), unless you go to confession. I have said to him before if he went to confession to apologize for being intimate with me that would be a deal breaker. He doesn’t go to confession, but he also doesn’t feel bad for being with me either.
Edit 2: He doesn’t do confession at all. Some people seem to think he is. Also I am a man.
Edit 3: I’m not asking him to stop, but I also think it would make sense to at least respect what’s needed if he’s going to participate in it. I was more so asking why bother if you’re not gonna do it right rather than trying to convince him to stop.
Edit 4: Starting to realize it may be more his association with the Catholic church, and the church’s teachings about being gay and intimacy, which even if I know nothing else, aren’t great, at least for me.
YTA. This doesn’t impact you in any way and his beliefs and dealings with his faith are his own to care about. As long as he isn’t hurting you or anyone else, he’s fine. This is not your jurisdiction to police.
YTA.
You’re literally making up stuff you know nothing about and being mean to him because of it.
Of course it’s absolutely fine to take Communion even if you’re not a regular Mass goer!
He finds it comforting. It’s a nice ritual thats associated with a moment of quiet private contemplation.
I’m agnostic and on the odd occasion I go to Mass, a wedding or a funeral, I still receive. Because whilst it may or may not mean anything, because it may or may not be all BS….. I like it. It’s the part of Mass that still resonates with me. I still kneel my ass down afterwards and let it dissolve in my mouth and take that quiet moment to look inwards and try to still my mind to hear my thoughts and feel the universe around me.
Leave him alone. You don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re being rude.