My Grandma and Dad bought me (31F) a new mattress for Christmas. This was super needed and I absolutely love it, the first time I haven’t slept and woke up sore or in pain in maybe a year.
However my Dad bought me a new pair of sheets as well. I tried to protest, I like my current sheets they are very comfy but it was too late. After washing them, I put them on my bed and they were pretty corse and rough to the touch so I just took them off and put my old sheets on.
I saw him today and he asked me if I liked them, and after trying to dodge the subject for a few days I told him no, why, and that I was sorry about that.
He got a little upset and said he wasn’t going to buy me expensive sheets again and seemed disappointed because he thought I liked them.
And I know what you’re thinking “why not just lie?” We live together and he’d see the fact that I don’t have the sheets on at some point.
But it did make me feel bad a bit and I wondered if maybe I should’ve just sucked it up for a few months until he forgot about it.
Am I the asshole here? What’s your verdict?
100% NTA
you shouldn’t suppress your feelings just to protect someone else’s
*after trying to dodge the subject for a few days I told him no*
If he was persistent with his questioning, I don’t think you were the asshole for answering his question honestly, so I will say NTA.
As the saying goes, don’t ask a question if you think you might not like the answer.
But there’s something about your story that puzzles me:
*After washing them, I put them on my bed and they were pretty corse and rough to the touch… He got a little upset and said he wasn’t going to buy me expensive sheets again*
That doesn’t make sense. I have never in my life seen or heard of expensive sheets that are coarse and rough to the touch. Cheap sheets are coarse. All the expensive sheets I’ve ever encountered have had high thread counts and have been satiny smooth.
Do you think he wasn’t telling the truth when he said they were expensive? Or is “expensive” a relative term, and what he means is he usually buys the super nasty cheap sheets for himself, and these were merely one grade above that?
I think it’s maybe a relative term. My Dad splurges on candles and food but that’s about it. Everything else is very functional.
YTA. Sometimes it’s ok to think “no” but say, “yeah, thanks dad, I really appreciate it all, the mattress is really comfy” and move on.
NTA, preferences in sheets (and mattresses) are very personal. Do your dad or grandma have the same size bed, such that they could use them? Do thank him for being generous (I was gonna say considerate, but you told him you didn’t want new sheets…)
If you wash them a few more times, with lots of fabric softener, you may find that they seriously improve.
NTA. He may have felt bad, but he most likely won’t stay upset for long. You could though give the sheets a chance by washing them in nice detergent and fabric softener; which should make them more comfortable. It’s always a good idea to have extra sets.
NAH. Some gifts are great and some miss the mark. He’ll get over it and likely get you a better thread count next time.
I don’t think you were an asshole for it, but maybe suffering a bit from main character syndrome (meant in the nicest way possible) – even with you living together, it isn’t likely he’d be keeping track of what sheets you have on your bed/for how long/etc. Knowing that he has this kind of strong reaction to you not liking his gifts, go for the white lie from this point onward
Yeah this is uncharted territory with gifts. I don’t think in 31 years of living he’s ever gotten something for me that I straight up didn’t like.
I see your point about MCS. I tend to over think, it probably wouldn’t have been that noticeable to him.
NTA. You protested and your dad didn’t listen nor honor your feelings, preferences and decisions.
NAH. You were just being honest. And he just likely felt bad that things didn’t go the way he expected. Parents, no matter how old you are, tend to want what’s best for you. And if they can’t give it, they get frustrated. If you want to make sure he’s not holding anything against you, you can try to clarify what you don’t like.
Say something like, “Hey, Dad. It’s not that I didn’t like you gifted me sheets. Maybe it’s the brand, but they’re kinda rough and uncomfortable to sleep in.”
This smoothens things out between you, and he might even make a mental note of it for future presents.
Nta. There’s nothing wrong with not liking the sheets. He asked your opinion and you were honest, but I do think your delivery might have been a bit harsh. Try explaining it to him, might ease the hurt a bit. Use fabric softener; it should make them more softer. But i don’t get how expensive sheets are rough though.
NTA. That said, try washing the new sheets a few times – they may need a few washings to soften up. I’m sorry your dad is acting childish. Tell him you’re very thankful for the new mattress and make a fuss over that.