Two years ago I got a big income.
My aunt and uncle have a restaurant and it’s going pretty bad. They asked me if I could give them 8000 euros and will pay me back when they manage to sell the restaurant.
Two years later the restaurant is still there. Everytime I hear from them it’s about how they are in a terrible situation.
A week ago I scrolled on Facebook and saw them on holiday in Ibiza. For people owing me 8000 euros and apparently in big trouble I found it quite curious they could go to Ibiza. So I message them asking how it’s going. They tell me it’s great, so nice to be holiday after struggling for years.
That’s great and all but I’m like… you owe me money. And I tell them things don’t seem that bad if they can go to Ibiza. They tell me they saved money for a year to get a vacation, the first in years. Look I get it but I also think about their restaurant and I’m like… you owe me money. You also owe a shit ton of money to the state and at some point they will just buy your restaurant for nothing leaving you with no money at all and nothing to pay me back. This is just stupid to use all your savings on a vacation when you should put it in your restaurant.
I say that (not the exact words I was more polite in my message) and they don’t take it well at all. They tell me I have absolutely no business telling them what to do with their own money. I gave money to the restaurant and this is not from the restaurant, this is their personal account. For me it doesn’t make any difference at all, the two are linked. You should be using your personal savings into your struggling restaurant. They tell me I’m an asshole to make it weird when it’s family, that they babysit me when I was two and now I dare tell them what to do with their money. I tell them they should be ashamed of needing money from the kid they babysit.
It’s a big fight and then I say I expect my money back in the coming year. If they can go to Ibiza clearly they are not starving and could deal with selling the restaurant now despite the debts.
They say I’m a complete disappointment, a cheap bastard and a complete asshole.
Am I?
Edit: there’s a lot of people talking about legal stuff. There was no legal papers. I was 21 and just thought why not, I can help and don’t need the money right now.
Deeply regret it but it is what it is. I don’t think I can do anything legally, even if we both agreed it was a loan back then I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter legally.
NTA, but your money is gone, and it ain’t coming back. You should be the one calling them a disappointment.
This. Expensive lesson, but he will never see that money again
Don’t loan money to family that you can’t afford to write off. NTA and I doubt you will see your money again.
NTA – if they can go on vacation they can pay you back. They are the ones making it awkward.
NTA. I don’t know where you are, but yoy may want to look into legal action. Maybe put a lien on the resturant.
NTA and I would also be very upset and disappointed in my family if they did that.
NTA I think that money is gone forever though and when they borrowed it, they had no intention of ever paying you back. They are thieves and liars.
NTA. Never loan money only give with the expectation you are not getting it back especially to family. It will save you a lot of stress and aggravation . Consider this a lesson learned.
NTA. Learned this lesson when I was younger, never lend money to family. It never ends well and everyone always thinks your the one in the wrong asking for it back.
Nta
I too made the mistake of lending a significant sum of money to my nephew and his fiancé.
It’s a loss.
It’s been 2 years and you haven’t been paid back one dime. They are the
A$$ES and not you. Repayment of debts, especially to relatives, always TRUMPS a vacation. One of the definitions of an A$$ is someone who always starts an argument to divert your attention away from their self serving behavior and shifts the blame onto you for even mentioning the loan. Make sure you don’t buckle to that old maneuver!
It sounds like they never intended on paying you back. Nta
Never ever lend family money. Never ever invest into a failing business without them making business model changes and a change of management/ownership to someone competent.
This is going to be an 8,000 euro lesson that you’ll have to eat as you’ll never see that money again and it will cause a rift in the family. Once again never lend money to family with an expectation that it is ever paid back.
I would bring it up all the time. On Facebook, at family gatherings, with anyone that knows them. Try to get them into paying you.
Having said that, the money is gone and you are never getting it back.