So for context, I have three friends who are all 18-19. They do drugs quite a lot and I also used to but I have since quit all that stuff just because I had a few bad experiences I was never addicted. In the groupchat my friend F18 spoke about doing lines alone in her house because she was bored. She has reported doing this several times and none of my other friends cared they just said “oh fun”. I expressed concern and this led to a conversation where I eventually said that doing drugs alone is sad and pathetic and it gives addict behaviour. My friends got offended but I believe I am correct. They’re all functional people and two are even in uni and that’s their excuse for it. The friend who I mentioned specifically could be going down a dark path though.
edit: A few people said there wasn’t enough context. We all stated farrr too young, about 14, so it’s not “experimenting” anymore because it’s not a new thing and it’s frequent usage. They do everything except the crackhead stuff, mostly ket.
I appreciate everyone telling me NTA and I think you can see where I was trying to come from however I agree with the YTA commenters that I worded it EXTREMELY wrong. Thanks again guys 🙂
I think it’s time for you to find new friends.
NTA, doing lines alone is sad, hopefully your friends realize this before they hit bottom.
YTA
Show concern, that’s fine. Call them sad and pathetic and say it looks like addiction? All your concern is now bullshit judgement.
If you care, then care and communicate that. If they don’t want to hear it, then walk away before you say something judgemental because you’re not winning anyone over.
Don’t want to deal with it because you’ve stopped using? Find new people to hang out with.
Also it gives addict vibes because they’re probably an addict – functional doesn’t mean anything.
Eh, I’m gonna go YTA on this one. There’s not really enough context to know if this is a fair concern, but if it is, then you could’ve expressed it a lot nicer if you wanted to be taken seriously by your friends. You straight-up insulted them and judged them, not as if you were genuinely concerned for their health, but because you think doing drugs alone is trashy.
It’s not, or it depends what drug it is. Coke is kind of on the fence for me as a hard drug vs. soft drug. I’m a 37-year-old stoner, and no, I don’t think getting high on my own and watching some TV is “sad and pathetic.” Obviously, loads of people drink and smoke cigarettes or nicotene alone. I did a little coke in college, most people I know did too, and we’re all fine and functional adults. It’s the age of experimentation.
The bottom line is, whether or not your concern is legitimate, you were a straight-up asshole about it. You did not approach your friends in a way that showed your concern. You just took a big fucking shit on their entire personalities. That makes you TA.
I just want to add that if anyone said that shit about me I’d never talk to them again and I’d be in the right. That is absolutely \*terrible\* and I hope your “friends” realize you’re not their friend.
Doing lines of coke alone at 18 is definitely addict behavior! NTA. It sounds like you care about this person and don’t want to see them fuck up their lives.
So you stopped and got super judgmental?
Given your ages, it couldn’t have been long ago that you stopped, either. Unless you started using drugs when you were 12.
I’m glad you stopped. But you were doing drugs recently. And who knows, you may even start again at some point.
I think being supportive and caring for your health is a good thing. I think acting like you’re better than them because you stopped using two weeks ago is not.
Maybe instead of telling them how to live their lives, maybe offer alternatives. “Hey let’s go grab a movie, I heard a new one just came to the theater.”
You seem like the AH here if I’m honest, kids experiment with drugs. It’s a thing.
Eta. Drugs are bad mkay but shame isn’t the way to get someone to stop
Its great that you put all that behind you. If that is not your thing anymore and you are determined for it to stay that way, have you thought about putting some distance between you and your friends? I know you have concern for them, but sometimes people have to want to change their lives (that also depends on the kind and frequency of their use).
ESH
Yes, you’re right, a bunch of 18-19 whatevers in love with the coco is incredibly sad. That’s a one way ticket to having heart problems for the rest of their lives and that’s when the fun really ends.
You on the other hand don’t sound too concerned about them on the health aspect from what I’ve read. It sounds like you want to cast judgement because they do drugs and you don’t. If you care about their wellbeing, express concern not throw stones, especially as an ex-user yourself.
NTA because you’re not wrong, it’s also super dangerous, but if someone is going down the addict path, they’re not going to accept they have a problem right away.
Calling people sad, pathetic addicts is incredibly unconstructive.
Telling them this isn’t being concerned, it’s being judgemental.
Genuine concern would lead to a dialogue and to curiosity. “Why do you feel the need to do drugs alone when you’re bored? Do you not have any other fulfilling activities or social contacts you could pursue?”. Not “you’re sad and pathetic”.
YTA
Find new friends. Problem solved.
when you get sober… or when you move on in life you have to wonder were those friends or enablers?
but then when you get sober, you gotta realize theres a difference from being on your high horse and being helpful.
YTA. Calling your “friends” sad and pathetic is completely unproductive. It’s obviously time you get new friends.