I’ve been with my girlfriend since around September. Her body has changed a lot since then, and for awhile she was losing weight, but in December she started to gain weight again. She’s been claiming that the dryer keeps shrinking her clothes, and she’s in complete denial that she’s actually just gaining weight. I thought she was just making excuses to me about it, so I told her that it’s okay if she’s gaining weight and she doesn’t need to blame it on her clothes. This really set her off and she said I was calling her fat and now her and her whole group of friends think I’m an asshole when I was just trying to be supportive and leting her know I dont care what size she is
I’m gonna say that your tone probably had a lot more to do with it than the truth of the statement.
Her clothes can be shrinking while she is growing, it can be both.
It probably seemed like you were telling her she’s ignorant, dumb, and fat when you decided you knew and she didn’t and you said what you said how you said it
she probably DOES know she is gaining weight, this doesn’t reduce the validity of her claim that you’ve just decided was an “excuse”
I mean, the two aren’t mutually exclusive and both are relatively common occurrences. I’m not gonna call you an asshole, but like….what were you trying to accomplish? If you wanted her to stop talking about it, you could’ve just said *that.*
NAH
Weight is a very sensitive subject. I think your heart was in the right place. So NTA but I get why she got upset. She probably is coping. I say the same things to my boyfriend, but its usually like “dang I’m bloated today” or “my clothes must of shrunk” how he handles it is he says he will love me no matter the size I am, and that if I’m comfortable in my body than it shouldn’t matter. Maybe if you say something similar to your girl that will help?
I do not think you are an AH, but I do think you are silly to bring up her weight. It is a really touchy issue for a lot of people. Also, many people gain weight in December – it is holiday season for many people. I am surprised her friend group is in on this – how old is she?
Not an asshole but a dumbass
Rofl yeah, this is accurate.
I think this needs to be an option to vote for
You’ve been with her for six months and during that time she’s lost a noticeable amount of weight and then gained enough weight for her clothes yo be tight?
Either you’re full of it, or she’s got a serious metabolic problem and needs to seek medical attention.
SHP
Ehhhh, I can see it. Even a 10-20 lb loss can make your clothes loose and be noticeable. If she had a sudden lifestyle change that cut out something like soda or a fast food habit, you can drop weight fast.
But the slide backward is fast and easy and can be quick – most people gain faster than they lose.
Not ruling out a potential medical issue because I have PCOS and have that issue if I’m not careful and have to take meds to keep my body in line.
But it’s reasonable she could have yo-yo’d in a few months
When you’re short, even 5 lbs can determine whether your jeans will fit well
NTA, blaming the dryer for gaining weight and then expecting you to support her lie is delusional. I think she wants you to support her delusion because she wants to believe the dryer is shrinking her clothes, & your response, though completely rational, only made her face the reality that the dryer did not shrink her clothes & that’s why she’s mad.
Some comments here are wild. You told her it’s ok and it seems that you accept her the way she is but didn’t let denial take over.
Also, dryers don’t consistently shrink clothes, some materials yes but if someone tries to explain to you the same clothes that have been going in the dryer for the 10th time are now magically shrinking… 🤌
NTA
this poor GF is only in high school! makes me wonder who is doing her laundry and how sensitive she must be at 17 years old
I went through this recently and genuinely believed all my clothes were shrinking. One day, I looked in the mirror, and it just…clicked.
We see ourselves every day and it can be difficult to tell when our bodies are changing.
It’s a very difficult and sensitive experience, and I think you didn’t handle it with much tact. She probably truly has no idea and doesn’t see or feel it yet. She’s confused, and your comments probably offended her.
But I don’t think you knew this. I think you were just being honest based on your own observations, and that doesn’t make you an asshole.
NAH