Full context: I (19m) live with my paternal grandparents (70f & 73m), my parents (44m & 46f) and my 2 (15m & 7f) siblings. It’s Ramadan currently and we’re all fasting in the house, except my little sister.
My mum called my brother and I to the kitchen to clean the dishes. I went to physically go call my brother, as he had earphones in and probably didn’t hear the first time. He closed the door in my face. Then I and my mum shouted at him and we called him again to the kitchen. He said that the wind caused the door to bang and I believed him.
but then he never came to help and left to go somewhere else in the house. I shouted at him as it was unfair that I’m cleaning the kitchen alone, as I still have assignments and stuff to do for college. My grandpa then came in and shouted at me saying that I can do it myself and that my grandad does it himself (he doesn’t have any obligations, he doesn’t work or anything). Now, my grandad has shouted and scold me for silly things my entire life, sometimes I deserved it, but most times it was just because he could. I should add that I’m never disrespectful to him. If he asks me to do something I do it. If he asks me to jump, I ask: "how high?".
However, this time I had had enough and all the years of verbal abuse + the hangriness of fasting caused me to tell him that all he does is shout. My mum told me to shut up, but I didn’t, I continued and I said that I’m sick of his nonsense. I wasn’t disrespectful I just had to tell him that. And he went on as if I spat in his soup and then gave it to him to eat. He locked his door and wouldn’t allow me into my grandparents’ section to see my grandma.
AITA for telling him that all he does is shout?
NTA. He should have minded his own business.
Don’t worry about it. It will pass.
If people are shouting and slamming doors, then their business becomes the business of everyone in the house.
Well if you are going to mind the dam business, why not addressed the whole problem and not only the grandson you use as a punch bag?
Anyways NTA, nor even your grandpa, hunger does funny things on elderly people…
NTA. Granddad inserted himself where he didn’t need to be and you stood up to him. Maybe he’ll think twice next time, but I doubt it.
YTA. You get that this post starts out with YOU shouting, right? You were very clearly disrespectful and immature.
ESH
ESH. Your family’s love language is shouting, sounds annoying.
I would just be constantly overstimulated in that household. I can see why the brother was wearing headphones. I agree that ESH.
Brother should have helped, grandad should have addressed both of the young men, OP shouldn’t have yelled at grandad like he did… not everything is solved by yelling at each other. Though depending on how far into Ramadan I can potentially excuse some of their snapping because I also get cranky when I’m hangry.
NTA. Sounds like your family has an issue with communication. It is the adults responsibility to mediate. Next time you have an outburst make it productive. Tell them what they need to do, call out what they’re not doing, and, most importantly, cry. Communicate your pain.
NTA
Your grandfather should know better at his age than to raise his voice to you instead of teaching your brother to behave like a proper man and give a hand of help to you and your mother.