I (21m) live with my parents and cannot currently afford to move out.
I can’t stand sounds that have anything to do with chewing, popping, etc… Anything to do with the mouth. They make me physically ill.
My mom quit vaping in January and has been chewing gum to lessen her urge to vape. She can’t use hard candies because she’s diabetic and on a keto diet to control her sugar. Even the sugar free candies have a load of carbs apparently.
To make it worse, she has false teeth and the gum sticks to them, making it even louder
I’ve tried to drown out the noise or distance myself from it, but it’s impossible. If I wear headphones with music she gets mad when I don’t hear her talking to me. When I spend time in my room she gets mad that I’m hiding too much.
I’ve told her how her chewing affects me and she always says something along the lines of "fine I’ll go back to vaping.
Obviously I don’t want her to do that, but I don’t know if I can live with the constant gum chewing either.
What I feel like might make me the asshole is what happened today. We were in the car, on our way home from Walmart. She was chewing her gum and I was trying to ignore it.
My dad called and they were talking about something that stressed her out, so she started blowing bubbles and popping the gum. I still tried to stay quiet because I didn’t want to cause trouble, but apparently the way I was acting made it clear I was struggling with the sounds. She asked what was wrong with me and I told her that I couldn’t stand the sound of her gum. She grabbed a receipt and spit out the gum, saying that if I’m that bothered by her gum that she’ll just go back to vaping as soon as we get home.
I didn’t say anything else because I knew anything I said was just going to make things worse. I know I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place, but I don’t know what else I could’ve done.
Now I feel like I’m a major asshole because I’m making it harder for her to quit vaping. But I also feel like I’m justified in the fact that her gum chewing makes me feel physically ill.
For context, the sounds that have anything to do with the mouth make me extremely nauseous.
Edit: I have no idea what happened with this text. I wrote all of it myself on my phone. I don’t understand what happened.
I think the computer got sick
YTA for having a robot type this for you, apparently. It’s unreadable.
Your copypasta has gone rancid I’m afraid.
YTA. You control your own actions; not others. Get some sounds proof headphones/earplugs.
Reading around the text issues to tell you that if you are an adult and you are currently living off of the good graces of others don’t tell them what they can or can’t do. She is doing something positive for her life. If you can’t stand it then go and be somewhere else. It’s nobody else’s job to baby you.
YTA
This post is as annoying as listening to gum chewing and eating noises.
So, you’re wholly dependent on them but want to dictate how they behave in their house?
Start saving money to move out.
YTA – and until you can move out, tell them that you’ll be wearing earphones/headphones and/or staying in your room to avoid the mouth sounds…(I assume that you don’t participate in family meals)…and deal with the fallout.
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YTA for using a machine to generate a post and not even trying to hide it.
oh ffs yta. Your mother’s house, not yours. Get a job. Move.
YTA.
Quitting smoking/vaping what have you is incredibly difficult. Chewing gum is very normal even without trying to quite nicotine. But it’s a real lifesaver when dealing with withdrawal. I quite smoking and I could not have done it without chewing gum.
I’m sorry that you’ve got sensory issues, but these are your issues to deal with. People get to chew gum!
YTA
This isn’t a maintainable living situation, and you need to work towards moving out instead of trying to dictate how your mother lives in her own home.
Until that happens, wear headphones and stay in your room and *figure out how to do so respectfully.* When I have headphones on, my husband knows to wave or flash a light to get my attention. It’s not hard to learn to adapt to someone who can’t immediately hear you, so figure something out instead of saying “well mom doesn’t like it so I won’t do it and instead I’ll tell her to stop chewing gum.”
YTA – sorry but you can’t control your mom, would you rather she go back to vaping? Get Ear buds or headphones… you are an adult.
Sorry but a light YTA, I’m sorry the sounds bother you but there’s got to be some medium here. Shes doing a good thing by trying to quit vaping and you should be encouraging that however possible, you need to find some way to occupy yourself and ignore it.