I \[22M\] was having conversations with my siblings \[30F and 32M\] last month, and I don’t get how it went sour, but I think I said, “It’s not my problem that my parents like me more. Maybe you guys need to be nicer to them? It’s okay to have a favourite child \[jokingly\].” And it hit a nerve for both of them.
So I admit that my parents treated me differently than my older brother and sister, but I think it’s mainly due to the fact that my parents \[both 58\] are more affluent when I was in my teens versus my siblings. I got a paid car when I got my license. My college education was paid off partially because of my parents. My apartment is owed by my parents, so I pay them my rent.
Comparing that to my siblings who had to pay for everything, yeah, I sympathise with them, but how is it my fault? My parents were older when they had me and had more disposable income when I was growing up, so it’s something out of my control. And as I remember, when we all were kids, we never had a problem with favouritism. It was just that I am the youngest, and we had some pity fights.
I can’t imagine having this stupid argument at our grown age. So I made up with my sister over the phone a week after, but I still haven’t felt the need to apologise to my brother.
AITA for saying it’s okay to have a favourite child?
Edit : I wrote a message to my brother since he doesn’t even answer my calls. I can’t really blame him, knowing his financial situation. And I won’t really expect anything from him at this moment.
My sister and I are doing great, and it’s probably because she has a family of her own and didn’t really take my stupid joke to heart.
YTA. You made a joke that your parents loved you more than your siblings. This was a risky choice at best. Unsurprisingly, you hurt their feelings. Apologize and move on.
YTA
Tasteless and crass – particularly if it true. Sometimes not saying anything is better than saying something so insensitive.
YTA You lack empathy.
yta.
if you ever have a child, id ask mom and dad to pay every debt of my siblings.
just so jr would Never be told they were never even wanted…….
>yeah, I sympathise with them,
No you don’t. YTA
Ew yta
If course it’s ok when YOU’RE THE GOLDEN CHILD
Fuck’s sake read the room.
YTA.
It might have hit a nerve, not because they care who’s the favourite, but because of your instant rebuttal, and then also making it about you.
With you being so forgetful, there’s no context.
Also you’re 22. So, checks out.
You’ve acknowledged you’re aware, to some extent, that your parents have treated you differently to your siblings.
I think it would be ignorant of you to continue to assume that your comment hit a nerve purely because your parents were in a better financial situation when you grew up. There is probably a lot more to it than you realise.
Without knowing anything else about your family, it would be presumptuous of me to assume you’re a golden child, but the 8-10 year age gap means that similar to a golden child, you don’t really know what your siblings’ upbringing was like. Just because you grow up in the same household, doesn’t mean you have the same upbringing.
With this in mind, and given that you hit a nerve with both of your siblings, you would be TAH if you continued to make such comments, but seeing as it seems you genuinely have just never turned your mind to your siblings’ experiences I would say NTA this time, but very flying close.
You’re so tone deaf it’s embarrassing.
My spouse had this same situation except he was the eldest.
Both parents are now dead. The person in your role was spoiled, entitled and enabled. At 54, they’re a useless human being who had everything given to them.
Be prepared for that day to come and you’ll be on your own.
YTA.
YTA. Of course the golden child sees nothing wrong with parents playing favorites. 🙄 Keep this up & you won’t have to wonder why your siblings don’t have a relationship with you.
YTA
You’re emotionally immature and incapable of thinking about how entitled you are. Yes, okay, your parents were financially better off in your later teens, but the bottom line is that means nothing. They choose to spoil you in every beneficial way instead of providing support equally.
Your siblings were in their early-mid 20s. They had crippling student loans, high rent and probably went without a lot. Your parents could have split their support. Helped pay down some of your siblings loans instead of fully paying for your car, education and now housing. They could have subsidised them getting started as an adult, but no, you got it all.
You’re the only one that got help and you can’t even open your eyes enough to see that they chose you over your siblings in a way that has bothing to with with your ages and when they become more affluent.
Okay, you haven’t had the experience where everything you have is from your own hard work because mummy and daddy gave it to you so how could you comprehend just how hard they had it. To you its a choice to laugh off. To them it may well have been going without food, saying no to experiences and the mental load of worrying how you’re going to pay rent and bills
It is not okay to play favourites with your children. It is 1000% not okay to give every advantage to one child and stand back watching the others struggle to get by. You should be ashamed of your attitude.
YTA
it isn’t ok, and you have barely scraqtched the surface of the issues it causes.
Don’t expect your sibling to do ANYTHING to help when your AH parents get older and need help. This will be on you, or nobody will do it.