Hey Reddit
I (25M) broke up with my ex (25F) after 2 years am moving out within the first month. We agreed I’d help her with the rent for 2 extra months (the lease requires 3 months after terminating the contract), but **I’m not on the lease**. Legally, I’m not obligated to pay, but I’ve been helping her out in good faith in an attempt to keep things peaceful and respectful.
Now, things are starting to feel out of hand:
* She’s made some unfair financial demands. For example, she got $500+ worth of furniture, and I had to fight hard to get my fair share.
* While living together she also made me pay an extra $50/month (tied to me being better at handling my finances, also she is a student still). She still demands me to pay this…
* She’s demanding 80% of the value of some dining furniture (originally from my parents) just because she put cloth on the chairs. This feels completely unfair to me.
* She’s not appreciating the rent I’ve been paying and is being really petty about everything. It’s starting to feel like my generosity is being taken advantage of.
* I asked for the lease/contract, but she didn’t want me to have it because she is the sole partner tied to it.
Up until now, I’ve been staying calm, trying to de-escalate, and compromising a lot, but she’s been difficult, and it feels like she’s not attempting to make this a "quiet and respectful split".
I respect her, she was a good partner, but I’m questioning if I should stop paying rent now. She will be extremely mad. I feel like I have already done more than enough, but I also don’t want to give up on being the “bigger person” by being the pettiful one regarding this matter.
What do you think? Should I confront her, or should I suck it up for these three month?
NTA This is a breakup, not a divorce, idk why you guys are trying to split ownership on really anything, you’re doing more than your fair share by continuing the payments. You don’t owe her for things you and your family owned, she doesn’t owe you for anything she owned – just cut losses that way, move on, and only send the rent money you agreed on. Otherwise you basically don’t have to talk to her and you can move everything that is yours out when you leave
Take whatever items are legally yours.
She would have to sue you and also prove they are her items for your to get into any trouble.
So take your stuff and don’t say anything. As you don’t need permission to move your own stuff.
Also your not on the lease and you have moved out, so stop paying your ex and cut off communication.
If you had any utilities. Call and cancel those.
Oohh yes. Forgot about utilities— I had to give big deposits when I first moved out. My power was 500, my internet was. 150, water and trash are combined. That was only 125.00. After a year or so many use your deposit towards your bill. This is my county and I know it’s different state to state-this is Georgia.
You didn’t have to, you chose to.
You could have simply taken all your stuff and moved out without paying a penny to anytime that you didn’t have a legal contract with.
I meant when I moved into my new apartment before marriage. I lived alone. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Since she doesn’t want to give you the contract since she’s the sole person on it, then tell her she can be the sole person to pay the rent.
Stop paying everything and move on
This … Not sure who broke up with whom … but it seems like she’s hanging on and using this as a way to get a last word in.
If I were you I’d say f*k fair … take what matters to and move on. You have more choices than confronting her and sucking it up.
Put your feelings aside for 5 mins and write down what matters. Formalize the communicate … put it in a written form that you can reference (email instead of text/snap) and stick to the original agreement. Everything else is a moot point.
If you broke up with her and want everything to be amicable being “fair” is not going to fix it.
Don’t let anyone take advantage of your guilt. You’re not obligated to do anything, other than be true to yourself.
It is only 2 months, right? And you agreed? Pay the rent, and work out the rest.
INFO has she cancelled the lease or after the 3 months will she continue to live there?
NTA She’s not your wife tell her to jog on
Not sure if you actually paid for half of the furniture, but it seems you did get your share, just that it was hard?
Tell her no about the 80% from your parents’s furniture.
Not sure why you need the lease?
You said you’d paid and that you respect her, that she was a good partner. Sounds like you’re the one who decided to broke up?
Just send her the money for your part of the two months then tell her you’re done communicating. If it doesnt work, might need to block. You aren’t obligated to engage with her if she’s being petty, ungrateful for you to having a cleam split and paying your share. Chances are she’s being difficult so she can still talk to you or think that if it’s too hard, you’ll reconsider.
Pay the rent, refuse the rest, get in first with the suggestion that it’s her being unreasonable with her petty demands.
Did she actually give notice and is moving out after the 3 months? Because if she’s not, then you only owe her for the time you’re living there. Pay her something for re-covering the chairs of the dining suite, but take all the furniture that’s yours. Make sure your name isn’t on the utilities or any other joint bills like mobile plans, car loans etc. You don’t need a copy of the lease if you’re not on it. Some of these things might be “pick your battles” type decisions.