Basically I had talked about moving out before, but it was just an idea. Until recently it became true, and I was so fearful about telling my parents. Most of my fear came from the fact that I have strict parents who had told me before stuff that made me think they would stop me from moving out whenever I tried to. Now that I did move out, I ended up telling them on that same day and obviously they were mad. I keep feeling guilty about it because I think maybe it would be different if I had told them sooner.. but at the same time I don’t think It would be any different… I don’t know, I’m conflicted and feel pain.
They’ll just have to get over it. Don’t fell bad, it’s an accomplishment!
It’s going to be fine. It’s time for you to make a life for yourself. Proud of you for standing up for yourself. Stay strong and remember NO is a complete sentence 🍀
I don’t really know enough to say whether you should’ve told your parents earlier or not. I’m just going to encourage you to give yourself grace. You didn’t do anything morally wrong. No one was physically harmed by what you did. Your parents should be able to handle this.
In the absence of further details, NAH.
Your decision to wait until the last minute to tell them and your conflict about having done it suggest a difficult, unpredictable relationship with your parents. You did what you felt you needed to do, but now you feel guilty. My guess — of course only a guess — is that the guilt is coming from a pattern of being made to feel bad for asserting your own needs or doing things you wanted or needed to do. So you’re left with a sense of responsibility for your parents’ states of mind. Now they’re angry, so it’s your fault.
You don’t say how old you are, but moving out may well have been a great idea. It will give you some distance from the dynamic you’ve been living with. They may be angry because you’re taking some control of your own life. You don’t have to feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
a soft NTA, without more context it’s hard to say, and without the parent’s side of the story, etc. having said that it seems like your parents created this situation by insinuating that they would stop you from moving out if you told them. what specifically was said about that? if it ends up being you misunderstood their euphemisms and just up and left with an hour’s notice, then it changed things significantly. the term “strict” also needs to be defined since it is a subjective experience, what exactly are they strict about?
I was sheltered my whole life because my parents never really let me go out and experience stuff. It started out since I was young, my mom used to say she was just overprotective but over time it just became way more than being protective. They always made it a big deal when I wanted to hang out with friends or go anywhere. It wasn’t until later in my life that I learned that my parents are more mean than I had realized before. I was raised to always be really respectful and always ask for their approval so that really messed me up I think. When I brought up moving out before they said I was being ungrateful if I thought that I could just leave after everything they have done for me.. it all sucks because I always thought the best of them, but as I get older I just keep realizing how many of the things they have done were wrong.
given this context moving out is a healthy step for you. you need to be firm with them, explain their behavior and how it effect you. they will huff and puff, you need to stand firm, tell them to shut the fuck up if needed or just walk away if they start getting belligerent – one of the perks of moving out. i’ve had to cut off some family members for similar reasons, it fills you with doubt at first but after some time you notice you aren’t constantly stressed out and that doubt gets replaced with peace.
NTA. You made the choice out of safety for yourself.
Imagine living with their resistance and anger in the days before the move. You did the right thing, you have nothing to feel guilty about. NTA.
I hope your new living situation is a healthy one, we tend to repeat childhood patterns/toxic situations. Don’t stay in a bad one to avoid looking like you made a mistake.