I got into an argument with my roommate over a deck of cards like 15 minutes ago. We were playing uno with a friend and she tried to show me a "better way to shuffle" by bridging my cards. I’m a very passionate card collector and she knows this and that I care a lot about my cards. I told her not to bend my cards sternly and she tried to rationalize her actions by saying that "everyone does it" and "why are we playing with them if you care so much about them?" She said she didn’t want to start an argument but she totally started one and I said something along the lines of "you’ve been starting a lot of arguments recently" and she said "you know I could say something but I don’t want to start another argument" and I said "I’m not just talking about you arguing with me" assuming she was going to say it’s my fault she keeps fighting with people. For context, she’s had like three arguments with one of her friends, in our room, in the past week and she’s been testy with several of our mutual friends in the last few months. She ran off for like half an hour after the argument and I’m pretty sure she was crying. Advice is welcome btw, she’s my friend and I don’t want her to have to move out in the middle of the semester. (Throw away acc btw)
NTA.
She’s starting arguments because she won’t respect a ‘no’. The fight, the rudeness, begins when the ‘no’ is not respected or starts to be negotiated. You learn the true nature of the relationship when you say ‘no’. When the ‘no’ isn’t respected, then neither is the relationship.
Card shuffling by bridging the cards is different, doesn’t make it better.
NTA but if you’re trying to preserve the friendship then maybe approach with more compassion. Ask about what’s been going on in her life, how she’s been feeling, any major stress?
NTA, but you may want to ask why she’s picking fights.