Long story short I (FTM) was at my parents house when my brother and his friends come in. One of his friends calls someone else the r-word. I then say "Woah slurs." And then my dad immediately starts laying into me. He said "I say stuff like that all the time this isnt your house you cant control or decide how people act." So I said "Ok. Enjoy your slurs." And then left and went to work an hour early.
Long story long
This is not the the first time ive called people out for saying slurs in that household. I do it a lot. Mainly to the teenagers.
Last time I was over there and said something to one of them my dad said something I didnt quite hear but I brushed it off. I usually dont say something unless the slur is directly pointed at someone. Like if they use it for an object I keep silent. I try to pick my battles.
But the teenager used the r-word to insult a person. He used it against another driver on the road, when he himself was in the wrong. He called the other driver the r-word, to which I went "Woah slurs." And my dad defended him. Said "this isnt your house we say stuff like that all the time. You cant decide how other people act in their own home." So I said OK and gathered my stuff up. When I went to leave I just said "Goodnight enjoy your slurs." And then I came to work an hour early.
I messaged him afterwards explaining slurs and how much it hurt me when slurs of any kind were used. That it felt like the f-word and t-word were getting thrown at me personally. He just doubled down, saying, "You can’t come into someone’s house and demand that we conform to the way you live or what you believe the society stands are." I interpretation that as ‘i do not respect you nor anyone else’. So I messaged him and my mother and told them both I would no longer be coming over. And thats kinda where its been since last night.
So am i the asshole for telling a dude he cant call someone a slur?