I was on a subreddit for vet advice and my cat had a weird cough that I’ve never seen before. My current vet said there was nothing wrong, but I didn’t buy into it. So I posted a video of it and some people suggested it could have been a hairball, while others mentioned it could be asthma. I’ve had cats my entire life and know what a hairball looks like. He never coughs anything out when he’s having these episodes.
Someone mentioned hairball, but I explained to them that he doesn’t get them. Then they ignorantly mentioned that all cats get hairballs to which they don’t.
Then someone else asked "Do you want help or not?" That irritated me so I abruptly told them "I just said he doesn’t get hairballs. Do you get it?"
To which they responded with "All I’m getting is that you are extremely afraid of being wrong for some reason. You’re getting defensive over someone offering help to you. You have a victim mentality and feel small. You need to focus on regulating your nervous system if you ever want to be happy."
I told her to quit being dramatic and explained that I’ve had cats all my life and know what a hairball looks like. She responded with telling me to humble myself. I called her an armchair psychologist and told her to shove it. I also posted this [https://thecatisinthebox.com/blogs/kitty-contemplations/cats-and-hairballs](https://thecatisinthebox.com/blogs/kitty-contemplations/cats-and-hairballs) to argue my point and told her that downvoting me won’t prove anything.
She then mocked me for getting pissed off to which I explained that I am angry that she is making a behavioral analysis based on something that makes no sense.
She called it confidence, I called it arrogance.
Then she proceeded to mock me and say she was getting bored.
I wasn’t going to let that go without having the last word, so I told her that psychologists and therapists don’t make behavioral analyses based on a few comments on Reddit. I also told her to prove to me what qualifications she has to be giving out psychological information to which she didn’t reply.
I myself read about psychology and am therefor thinking about getting a degree, but I would never go around analyzing other people like that. Especially strangers on the internet.
AITA?
The second a pet advice thread turns into DIY therapy and credential fights, log off and call the vet.
INFO – So if you didn’t trust your vet, why are you still using them?
ESH..you both went way too far into the tit-for-tat. Just should have ignored and focused on the helpful advice.
Welcome to the internet. How was your first day on it otherwise?
YTA This is so funny. You could have just let it be but instead you fell for that person’s rage bait. It sounds like you WERE defensive and if people posting comments on the internet ‘pisses you off’ then you DO need to learn how to emotionally regulate.
-Yours Truly, MA, LPC, CCSOT, CADCII
You might have been right about the hairballs, but even in your own account of the exchange, I’m getting annoyed by your arrogant, aggressive and argumentative tone…
“They ignorantly mentioned”, “Do you get it?”, “shove it”, “without having the last word”, etc., etc.
Blech! That attitude is bound to aggravate people and incur disdain, in case you weren’t aware.
YTA
Using AITA to vet every single online interaction you have is just a downward spiral. Nobody cares who you tiffed with in the comments. You should have moved on pretty much the second they left a comment you didn’t like. It’s really not that deep and YTA for posting it here next because I’m guessing you didnt get enough validation or satisfaction from arguing with them OR they blocked you.
YTA.
You let it go way too far – you should have just disengaged. If you know it’s not a hairball, you know that: there is no reason you need to prove that to some random person on the internet.
Instead you dug in your heels and got into a petty argument with someone who you will probably literally never interact with again. And you’re still not over it – you’ve got to come to another thread to prove you’re right…!?
Get off the internet and go snuggle your cat!
ESH. Your first reply was unnecessarily rude, and then things just continued to escalate from there. If you find a piece of advice unhelpful, just ignore it. She sucks too for matching your energy, but your needing to have the last word is a big indicator of an asshole. And FYI not all cats will have hairballs, but any cat *can* have them, especially as they age. Just because your cat hasn’t had one doesn’t mean he can’t/won’t.
You may wanna limit your access to things that piss you off that you cant change. Also, you did a really good job of kind of proving that commenter right. Think about that. Its a random person on Reddit, and now you’ve tripled down in the bullshit. Why?
Two people determined to have the last word.
What a waste of life.
ESH
>I wasn’t going to let that go without having the last word
YTA grow up.
>I myself read about psychology and am therefor thinking about getting a degree
Double YTA
Analyze, don’t analyze, but don’t look down at people and think you know something because you (checking notes) *read.*
And FFS don’t ask for help and get mad when people say things you don’t agree with.
I read about psychology too, you definitely fit a type.v
ESH, but especially you. You sound exhausting.
l hope your dear kitty is ok now though.