I’m getting married next year. My partner and I both have very, very large families. I know that majority of them will want to speak at the wedding, but if all of them do, it will last for days and all guests will be gone by the third speaker (somewhat /s). I was thinking about how I would like to approach this. Out of the 25 or so (I wish I was exaggerating) that would like to speak, I think 7 of them would actually give speeches worth listening to, but my partner and I would like to cap it at 4, maybe 5. Here were our two options:
1. Draw from a hat, although that would give an equal possibility to all 20 to get chosen, which is not what we want.
2. Have them audition, and we pick the top 4 or 5 contenders. The extra positive aspect with that is that we can hear/read what they intended to say and that way they don’t feel like they were entirely excluded.
My sister thinks this is a terrible idea and makes us look extremely selfish. AITA?
YTA
Holy effing shit is this an asshole move.
I would tell you to fuck off if I had to audition and have my speech vetted. Just to have the *”privilege”* of speaking at your wedding.
Pick a couple of people you trust or are most relevant and tell the others you already have people giving speeches, so there unfortunately won’t be time.
YTA. This is obnoxious behavior. Yes, the day needs to be about you. But that doesn’t mean you get to act like diva casting directors. Put on your adult pants and just pick someone to speak.
“Please prepare your speech, of no longer than 3 minutes duration, and perform it for us. If we approve you will be permitted to perform again before the full audience.”
Hahaha haha.
YTA cap it at dad of bride and groom and the MOH and best man
What😭 Your sister is right. YTA
Apparently you can’t say the Zilla word so yes, *huge* YTA. Yikes.
Why not go the whole hog and have a hunger games for the “honour” ?
YTA that’s a really weird and shitty thing to do. Just limit the speakers to whoever is closest to you, at my wedding only close family were given the option
YTA
4-5 is even pushing it. People don’t wanna sit through it.
Do you have a Best Man and Maid of Honor? Them and one of each of your parents. Or the 4 closest people you think will give “speeches worth listening to”.
The speeches should be the people you want to honor, even if they are a bit awkward. Not the people who win public speaking competitions.
My dad gave a really awkward, nervous speech at our wedding. It was hugely stepping out of his comfort zone for him. But he’s my Dad and I love him and he loves my husband and I.
And it’s really vain to expect 20 people to write special speeches for you just to listen to and act like it is an honor to them.
YTA Maid of honor, best man, father of the bride; that’s who usually gives speeches. If you don’t like that combination, just pick who you want. Don’t make anybody audition for it.
YTA. Your sister is right. It is a terrible idea.
What’s wrong with you? lol. Who cares who wants to speak, you pick your parents, best man, maid of honour and call it a day.
Have the rest of them compile a video of their speeches and email it to you so you can watch on your honeymoon if they can’t help themselves.
YTA – make them audition and you won’t have to worry about having too many people speaking at your wedding, you’ll have to worry about too many people rightfully not wanting to attend.
YTA. This sounds pretentious AF.
Why on earth do you and your partner not just *decide who you’d like to speak at your wedding and ask those people?*
You’re proposing to make people write speeches (not easy, not a talent everyone has, takes some time and effort) and perform them for you…so that you can choose who will give the best performance instead of just privately deciding which people you’d like to hear from on your special day. Weddings are not showcases or open mic nights, they are gatherings of people who ostensibly love and care for one another to celebrate a happy occasion. Sheesh.
And yes, YTA.