My friend (F27) lives with me (F25) and has for over a year and a half, she has never contributed other than buying electric when it goes out and I’m at work but I usually pay her back for this.
She’s struggling with mental health issues and has been for the past 20 years so she hasn’t been able to stay in employment longer than 3 months so I’ve been financially supporting us both, months ago I lent her 600.00 for concert tickets with the understanding she’d get a job to pay for them, she worked somewhere for a month and got some money then paid her well off father back after borrowing less money from him then ended up quitting because she couldn’t handle it. she’s not even trying to pay me back, she has went to the doctors to get herself signed off work for mental health reasons but I swear she only did that to stop me sending her job application forms
She rarely pitches in with cooking or cleaning, and isn’t paying any bills not even her vet bills for her cat. She sits home all day watching TikTok and playing sims.
Im in uni and have a part time job so I don’t feel like I have as much time to housework and know if I was living with someone I’d be trying to earn my keep especially when the dishes are used to make me food and eat off are getting moldy, but she’s not then blames it on mental health conditions she has no intention of actually getting a diagnosis for.
Infact last night I had an assignment due but had to leave it and panic clean because the gas man had to come out and check my boiler, i ran in and told her the place needs cleaned quick, she said goodluck and went back to playing the sims. I wasn’t expecting her to do it all but some help so It would be done faster could have been helpful seeing as she does nothing else all day.
Any time she runs out of money it comes from me or her father and all she does is complains about how difficult it is for her because she has attend state funding appointments every 2 weeks to receive her state benefit. She’s been in 5 months of work over the past 2 years but feels she needs more time to work on her mental health and has only this month started contacting mental health services to sort this out. Christmas is coming up and she’s not happy that she has to buy her mum a 3.00 candle that she wants and will be angry if she doesn’t get, am I wrong in thinking she’s acting selfishly?
Surely this is a joke right? Of course your ‘friend’ is taking advantage of you. You referenced that she is also undiagnosed as well, so it’s even worse. Time to evict her, this isn’t your friend.
NTA this girl is taking the piss
Sounds like dead weight you need to drop
You work part time and are financially secure enough to support both you and your leech friend? You need to tell me where you work because I need a job like that.
If this is real, ditch the friend. She’s using you. Her rich dad can support her.
Her electricity seems to regular go out.
As someone who can’t work cuz of mental issues, why tf are you paying for anything for her? Even concert tickets? Wtf if you can’t make money you ain’t get to go to concerts, you’re not the asshole but you’re incredibly stupid for allowing all this
NTA. This person is completely taking advantage of you, she is not your friend, and I would get her out of your home ASAP if I were you.
You are NTA, she clearly is not your friend. She is using mental health as an excuse to freeload. You are her friend, not her servant. Respect yourself enough to identify and cut out toxic people from your life.
NTA
Your ‘Friend’ is a leech, and not a friend. You need to remove her from your home, she is not your responsibility and you are not accountable for her. She can move back with her dad. YWBTA if you continued to pay and allowed her to be a kept woman.
NTA. I’m so confused… how did you end up in this situation?? I understand wanting to give a struggling friend a place to live, but how did you end up paying for EVERYthing, including her own cat’s vet bills??? If you are TA at all, it’s to yourself. You deserve better than this.
You need to tell your user friend to move back with her dad! You cannot afford her!
Tell your friend your mental health is suffering from this relationship and you need your space and home back. Kick them out.
After that entire post, your question is “is she selfish?” I’d think you have more important things to worry about, like how to get this person out of your home.
Struggling with her mental health but is able to go to a concert? Struggles with her Mental health but hasn’t bothered trying to get help ? NTA she’s at it, she’s just living with u for free and doesn’t even bother to help around the house. I’d give her an ultimatum that she at the very least has to start helping cook and clean and that she has to get and keep a job in the new year or she’s out