I used to drive for Uber and still occasionally give rides to private clients. I first met one of them, who I’ll call Sarah, through Uber in mid-August 2025. She is 23 and, due to a serious car accident that caused brain damage, is not currently allowed to drive.
Because Uber is unreliable in our area, I began driving her to and from work almost daily. I charged her a flat $10 per ride, which was far cheaper than Uber, where she often paid $40 just to get to work. This became a regular arrangement totaling about $100 per week.
Over time, we became friends. I am married, and the relationship was always platonic. I occasionally helped her with errands at no charge, including medication pickups. Sarah struggled financially, and although I typically don’t allow unpaid balances over $300, her balance eventually grew to around $900.
In November, her landlords decided to sell their property and told her she needed to move. I offered to help at little to no cost. The move was far more involved than expected, and I ended up taking time off work to help pack, transport her belongings, and assist with setting up her new place.
During this process, her landlords abruptly demanded she leave immediately. She panicked and chose to move again, this time to her boss’s home temporarily. I helped her repack and move a second time and agreed to store some of her belongings in my garage until she found permanent housing. This was mid-December.
After months of daily driving, unpaid rides, and helping her through two moves, she completely stopped responding to me. I reached out several times without success. About three weeks later, I ran into her at her workplace. She apologized for being flaky, and I told her clearly that since she owed me nearly $1,000 and I was storing her belongings, communication was necessary.
After that conversation, she disappeared again. By late January, I went to her workplace a few times trying to find her. When I couldn’t, I contacted her boss to ask what was going on.
This morning, Sarah finally texted me. She said she had been in and out of an inpatient psychiatric ward and that her boss had contacted the hospital after I reached out. She told me not to contact her boss or show up at her workplace again, saying it made her coworkers uncomfortable. She explained her lack of communication by saying she only has access to her phone at certain times. She did not address the money she owes me and only stated that she would come to my house on Friday to pick up her belongings.
I don’t feel I acted improperly. A single text would have prevented everything that followed. I was trying to help a friend in need, not someone who would accept months of support and then disappear without communication.
YTA. While I can understand your feelings of “trying to help a friend” this was probably seen to her as aggressive bill collection. You ain’t the only person calling her about monies owed I bet, and she gave you the exact same statement she probably gives to all debt collectors who contact her workplace.
Don’t mix friendship and buisness like this again.
My only issue is that if she was going to be in and out after the move, she could have at least shot an update text. She’s been in and out of the psych ward, apparently, so not saying a word to someone who is your friend, you owe money to, and is storing your shit for free is pretty ridiculous. Maybe it’s just me but whenever I owe people money I’m adamant about making sure I tell them where I’m at financially and when I can pay them back. Bringing up money is never fun for anyone involved – especially the person you owe the money to.
She probably owes money to institutions. She doesn’t have a ton of friends, and I know most of them, so I highly doubt that would be an issue. It seemed like a really simple solution to just text and let me know when I could expect the money.
Something else I had forgotten to mention, she was out at the bars during new years. She said happy new years, at the bars as a video and that’s pretty much all I received from her since mid December. So yes, she might be in a psych ward now, but was perfectly capable of notification before everything.
When you are in a psych ward you don’t have access to your phone. When they do get their phone or have access to a phone it is to call their family. Someone going through a mental health crisis struggle to manage their day to day life. They aren’t thinking about I need to text so and so to tell them what is going on.
YTA for getting yourself in this situation. She’s either a friend or a client, not both. You’re not getting that money back from her, I guarantee it.
hmm ESH— I think you only crossed that line by going to her workplace looking for her, especially multiple times. You know where she lives (I assume from the moving), so you could have dropped by there if you wanted instead of making a scene at her workplace.
You should absolutely stop doing favors for her, including any she says she’ll pay you for. She has far and away exhausted taking advantage of you. I hope you get your money (I doubt you will tho).
Her work place was the last place I could have gone. I live in a rural area and the place she lives is behind multiple locked gates. I have the code but don’t feel comfortable going in there without the family she’s living with knowing. I contacted her sister and she didn’t say anything either. So the only connection I had was through her work.
The first two times I legitimately needed to shop so I stopped by to ask if she was in casually. The last time I was frustrated and made it clear I was in to check if she was there then left. So I probably made it sound worse than it actually was and her message did nothing to help because she was clearly pissed off since I texted her boss.
I am not doing any favors anymore. I have kept record of all communications with her along with geo data showing me going to and from work. If it comes to that, I can file everything into small claims court. So I certainly will get my money back.
NTA for all your past kindnesses, but a bit ah for going to her work and an ah to yourself to let the debt get to such proportions. You won’t get any of it back l‘m sure of that.
l‘m sorry your kindness has resulted in this , but l guess you won’t be doing it again .
I definitely think I can be an ass hole here since I let the debt get a little out of hand but everything was agreed upon via text and I have bank records to show what she paid and when I went to and from her house. I can catalogue the 5 months of driving and submit it to small claims court. It would take a shit load of time but I’m petty enough to do that lol.
As for the kindness, I would have never bothered her even with all the debt and free storage if she sent a simple text every once in a while to keep me updated – more importantly, that she hadn’t forgot. Obviously her mental issues come first but she was out at the bars on new years – two weeks after I helped her move and didn’t hear anything from her in that time. Going from basically seeing each other every day for 5 months to not even a single text message was jarring for sure. I did try texting her a day after the move to ask how things were going, a week later, then new years. And her response was her partying at the bars. so it’s not like I was overbearing either.
What really pissed me off was when I didn’t hear anything for a month.
YTA- Even billing departments don’t show up to people’s jobs,making a scene.
I don’t think that got conveyed well. I went two days in a row because I actually needed some stuff and stopped by to see if she was in. The people there know me so didn’t think anything of it. The last day I did literally go just to ask if she was there. So I think her response was harsh for what it really was. The last day I just asked them to have her text me because I needed to know what I should be doing with her shit taking up a lot of garage space. I left money out completely so not sure.
INFO: Was the $900 money you gave her, or is that totalling totaling the costs of your service? Did she know you were charging for that time and for storage?
Over the course of my driving her, I drove her for roughly 17 weeks so she owed me \~$1700. She paid $800 of that already. As a friend, I told her I would not charge for storage. I can still park both of my cars in the garage, but can’t access anything unless I pull the cars out. So having her stuff there is a neusance more than anything. Which is why I was willing to store that for a friend. If it was not a friend, or her in this case, I would have probably charged anywhere around $100-$300 per month.