For some background, back in July my sister had blood clots that were in her legs and had moved to her lungs. She has been on blood thinners and follow up appointments to make sure everything resolved. At 9am I get a call from her in tears asking about what it felt like when I had an ovarian cyst rupture. She describes the pain to me and tells me she cannot drive to urgent care/ER bc of it. She said that her fiancé is on a job but would try to hurry through it (replacing two air filters @8:45am). He asked if the neighbor could take her to urgent care, but that neighbor is out of state. I live 45 minutes away from my sister. After hearing her level of pain, I offer to come get her immediately. On my way there I stay on the phone with her so she doesn’t pass out or anything. Before her turn, we discuss if I should go in with her or not. I am 8 months pregnant and have been trying to avoid exposure to illness. We both agree that I will wait in the car for her. She also tells me if I want to go shop around while waiting (she was still 3rd in line) that she didn’t mind if I left and came back. I stay in the lot for about an hour ( but again 8 months pregnant) and don’t have water, and need to use the bathroom. There is a coffee shop 1/2 a block away so I ask if she’s okay if I go over there while waiting (via text) and she says that’s fine. While there waiting I’m texting with her the whole time getting updates and such. She tells me they did the CT and will have results in 15-30 minutes. I finish up my food and go straight back to the urgent care lot, again 1/2 block away. I park and see her fiancé walking up to my car within a minute of me being there (11:40am) He tells me thanks for taking her. I tell him something like well I wanted her to get here because it could have been her appendix or worse. No tone or anything, just wanted to stress that it was important she got immediate care. He starts talking like he’s been there for a long time and telling me about the CT and waiting for results. I’m like are, you up to date on everything? He’s like oh ya. I tell him they also did a blood test, urine test and IV. I was so confused that he was there at all, I figured my sister could have at least told me if he had been there. Still, did not regret going to get her at all, just confused. He makes a comment like he was surprised when I wasn’t there that I would just leave her at the urgent care like that. I tell him we had both decided for me to wait in the car to avoid exposure to illness. He tells me that no one seemed sick. I texted her and asked since fiancé was here if she wanted me to stay. She said no you’re good, I’m so sorry for making you wait I didn’t know he was coming otherwise she wouldn’t have made me wait up there for her. So AITA here for waiting next door instead of in the waiting room?
One of the people in this story sounds like a bit of an asshole. It is not you sister and it isn’t you.
NTA
NTA, so much. I have a lot of hospital visits and 2 nieces – I would never expect my sister to come in with me after doing such a favour and we are super close. It’s not worth the risk. I think her partner feels guilty and is blame shifting.
NTA. She was completely okay with you not waiting with her, and you not wanting to expose your unborn child to a potentially serious illness is a pretty good reason to not go into a hospital unnecessarily.
NTA plain and simple.
You made a series of exactly correct decisions—to get your sister to the hospital, to stay out of the hospital, and to seek water and a bathroom when needed. So, NTAH. Your BIL, on the other hand—“nobody seemed sick”? At a hospital’s emergency room? And his ability to diagnose by looking at strangers comes from where? Sweet Jesus save us.
NTA as his comment of “no one seemed sick” is irrelevant. It’s a fucking urgent care of course people there are most likely sick or at the very least contagious
I was in a similar situation, but I had just returned from a trip where in five days.. I had about 15 hour sleep. I sleep in a recliner so when I have to sleep in the bed, it’s really uncomfortable, but I know this going into trips . I put my do not disturb sign on my phone when I returned and went to sack out… she called and text me, but I obviously didn’t get it and the person wound up calling my husband and he woke me up. I got up to take her to the hospital and told her I would be dropping her off when triage came and did her intake because I was exhausted and I needed to sleep. She didn’t say much… and true to my word when triage came to get her… I said I was going to home to get some rest and I will check in on her. I set my clock for two hours and texted her in two hours and she said she was still in the emergency room. They had not taken her to the back yet. A few hours later I texted her again… and by this point she was been seen and took test and they decided to keep her. She made arrangements with her aunt to drop her off some toiletries and pajamas for her stay. That night.. after they had given her some pain medicine… she called me to say how she was shocked that I didn’t stay the six hours in triage with her since she was so uncomfortable and in so much pain.. I told her technically I probably should not been on the road considering I had 15-18 hour sleep over the last few 5 days and I had my not disturb message on and yet I got up and got her to the hospital within 30 minutes. It really shifted our dynamics. I felt that I had did my level best to be there for her as a friend and I feel she’s more of a taker than to give her and I was pretty much done. We speak, but has been strained.
Nta, im sure your doctor would have told you to wait outside too.
People don’t go to urgent care because they’re healthy. You’re pregnant. It’s completely reasonable for you to not be in the waiting room and you were always in contact with her and updated.
Nta. You are pregnant. Even if you werent, you were right there.
NTA
Bro couldn’t get there on time, but he has the nerve to lecture you on what you should and shouldn’t be doing when you drove nearly an hour just to get there for her, while 8 MONTHS PREGNANT?!?
I get that he couldn’t leave his job, but he doesn’t get the right to take his guilty conscience out on you.
He owes you an apology for that nonsense.
NTA
BIL needs to put on his big boy pants and deal with his emotions in a more mature way. He is projecting his big emotions (fear, guilt, shame…) onto you.
You are NTA here at all. You did a great job of handling things and were there for your sister when she needed you.