I let my friend borrow my bike while I moved away (even though she can afford her own and hasn’t gotten hers replaced). She put it in the same spot, her laundry room, where her own bike got stolen. She texts me this message and I was just really bummed the way she said it and didn’t even offer to replace it or offer $$. Basically trying to see if the way I reacted was wrong because in my opinion even if something happened that I couldn’t control, I would still try to replace the thing I was caring for because that’s what friends do? I don’t know to me I just don’t appreciate how she flipped the script.
conversation went as so:
friend:
Hey I have some bad news. Just returned home today and went to use your bike to get to work for the first time to discover it’s not here and that somebody broke in to my laundry room again and took your bike and my detergent. It’s really crazy I have no idea how they’re getting in here my landlord changed the locks and added a pad lock to the door it’s really scary and confusing how this is even happening. But ya sorry to report your bike is gone
me:
so it was in the same
place your bike was stolen before?
friend:
yes i told you i would put it in my laundry room. that’s where its been.
me:
bro it’s just the lack of empathy for me and i’m upset cuz that bike cost me $400 and i just thought since you got yours stolen you would have the most locks on it 🙁
friend:
You think I’m lacking empathy I think same for you. I’m over here legit worried abt safety bc somebody keeps breaking in to my shit despite me taking action to do things and I’m scared abt somebody coming in to my home next and you’re worried abt your bike
Especially when it happened and my immediate first reaction was not only me being scared for my life but fuk now I owe \*\*\* money too etc etc And then was made out to be mindless and careless
Yeah NTA and you should get rid of this friend. If she feels no responsibility or guilt at all, and didn’t have the forethought to maybe do something different after one bike got stolen, she’s both selfish and dumb. You don’t need that in your life.
ESH. If you “moved away” and left your bike with this person, they aren’t “borrowing” it. You gave it to them. Did you seriously plan to move back and reclaim the bike at some point in the future? How long did you expect this person to be the caretaker of your bike? Clearly they are either irresponsible or unlucky. If you cared about the bike, you wouldn’t have left it there.
i was going to come back home to use the bike as well while she got around i guess to eventually get her own bike? your points are valid tho I should have just left it at my rents
I have successfully let friends use items they asked to borrow, even when living 300 miles apart.
NTA but lending it to her was stoopid.
NTA, Yeah my moneys on your friend lying to you. they sold that bike for cash. you can get a cheap one for $50. tell them you expect them to replace it or pay for it even if it’s sell plasma…
Ultimately they were responsible for ensuring the property you lent them is safe. She owes you.
thank you i felt so manipulated her tryna flip it on me
NTA
I think she’s lying. Your bike may have been stolen but I bet it wasn’t from the laundry. She probably just left it laying around somewhere.
She sold your bike.
NTA. If I had a friend like that, it would end the relationship. And before anyone criticizes me, there are 8.1 BILLION people on this earth. Getting better friends is not that hard.
NTA- she owes you the money and she owes YOU the apology, not the other way around. She was careless and way too casual about it. (Also more worried about her stolen detergent than your $400 bike…)
NTA. If you borrow something, you’re responsible for returning it or a comparable item in the same condition or better. Tell your friend you’re sorry she’s had a scare and is worried about her safety, but you expect her to replace the bike with a comparable bike, period.
>she’s a midnight ballerina ain’t no way she needed that $$ but that was the first thing my other friends and fam said lmao
A “midnight ballerina”? Is that a nice name for a stripper? She didn’t care about your bike, and don’t wait for her to pay you for the bike.