Hey Reddit I am at a loss at the moment and I need some advice
I (35F) have been engaged to my fiancé (35M) for almost 8 years and he has been acting very strange lately he has a old phone and he uses it to talk to “his friends” but he doesn’t show me it or hides it from me turns away to type and I have a feeling he is cheating on me with someone else on that phone I have gotten proof of that but he guided me into deleting them and today my period pain was so bad I was in tears and he just went downstairs and he said he was gonna talk to his friends and play music and so I’m in bed in pain with the cat but I don’t know what to do with this I feel like I’m going insane so would I be the ahole for confronting him about this or do I just just keep quiet and silent and let him just carry on with this I really need some advice
Ps. Got the confidence to post this because of Charlotte LUV YA VIDEOS ❤️
NTA. Wanting emotional support from your fiance is a bare minimum ask, not control
If you had proof, why are you still with him?
Love but at this point I don’t know
You may love him but it isn’t returned.
Please love yourself more
Engaged for EIGHT years?????
NTA, but honey, you deserve better. If you have evidence he’s cheating on you, you need to leave. I get that you love him, but he doesn’t love you. And engaged for 8 years? He is just stringing you along. He never intends to marry you. Don’t waste any more of your life on that AH.
You know he’s cheating on you? Why are you with him?
Imo any engagement that is more than 3 years is a shut up ring and you need to stand up for yourself
INFO: How did he “guide you into deleting” this proof that he cheated? Did he promise not to cheat anymore? Do you believe he isn’t cheating?
I don’t know exactly what you wanted him to do about your period pain, I could see a range of possibilities here from “he completely ignores you even when you ask him to just bring you some tylenol” to “I’m mad because he won’t spend the entire day sitting next to me in bed coddling me”–those are two very different expectations and yours isn’t clear. But honestly, that part doesn’t matter.
He cheated. You still don’t seem to trust him, and you seem to have the sense that he doesn’t really care about how you’re feeling. (Based on your short description I’m inclined to agree.) *That’s* the problem. Dump him, or get into couples’ therapy to work through it if you think it’s possible.
But don’t sit around waiting for him to magically change, or change back.
NTA. If you know he’s cheating and treating you this way, you don’t want that man as your husband. Love is one thing, but unfortunately life often needs more. I know it’s a reddit cliche to say break up, but for your own sake break up.
How come you haven’t got married in the last 8 years. I just hope his not stringing you a long. He is so secretive, so you’re not the NTA. But girl, no man will ever understand period pain, and we need to be our own hero and comfort sometimes. You deserve better, and I really hope you’re not wasting your youth on someone not worthy or capable of being honest.
He keeps a second phone for no apparent “good reason”, and doesn’t want you to see what he does with it?
If he’s doing that now, he probably won’t magically stop if/when you marry.
He’s giving you multiple reasons not to trust him.
NTA – and you need to give VERY serious thought to your future.
NTA, but you are kinda an AH to yourself.
You are engaged for EIGHT years, he cheated on you and you let it go, and now he doesn’t even care even when you are going through something. You basically let him treat you this way and you are upset about this? Is this what you say love is? What do you really love him for, for his lack of compassion or love or respect for you?
Honestly you know the answer yourself, I apologise if I sound harsh but you already wasted so much time, don’t waste more.
Another post that doesn’t belong in AmItheAsshole Reddit.
This belongs in how to cure stockholm syndrome Reddit. Or the cheating victims support group Reddit.