In September (2025) me and my friend planned a cruise trip for us and our siblings and the following months we booked it and put in our deposits. In total it was $500 for me and my sibling. We (sibling and I) also had to keep arguing with my parents to actually let us go and they only agreed because my friend and their brother was going. Now they cancelled on us due to family issues and we do feel bad but man we were really looking forward to it and had to go through all the trouble with getting our dad on board. We also bought most the cruise essentials and activities we were going to do. And they knew we have to cancel too if they did. We feel like the least they could do is repay us the $500 but we aren’t going to straight up ask them cause at the same time we feel bad about their situation but we feel like the least they could have done is offer to give us the $500 whether we took it or not. We’d even be fine with them giving us the money later when they could. We did try telling them how we felt about not wanting to lose the deposit cause it wasn’t our choice but all they would say is sorry and not really take it seriously, but I don’t know its just frustrating. We aren’t ending any friendships over this and we’re not necessarily mad at them just the situation. But we just want to know if our frustration is reasonable or not.
YTA, if you’re not going to accept their personal issues that resulted in them canceling then you shouldn’t expect them to read your mind and know that they should pay you back. They can’t read minds either ask them directly or take the loss
INFO: why can’t you and your sibling still go?
I’m sorry this happened but you can’t ask them to reimburse you the deposit. It doesn’t sound like they canceled likely and asking them to do this is like rubbing salt in the wound. It will hurt the friendship.
This is why buying travel insurance is a good idea. You get your money back if you have to cancel. It’s a sting I know, but this is the risk you take when you plan trips with friends and they bail … for good reasons or not.
Travel insurance wouldn’t pay out in this scenario. It might for the friends who had the family emergency, but not for someone who just changed their mind.
Honestly, your friends aren’t the reason you had to cancel, your dad is. Are you an adult? Why wouldn’t you be able to continue with the trip despite them bailing?
NTA for wanting, but you would be if you expect your needs to get met without asking for what you want.
Your frustration is reasonable, and it is also reasonable to ask – gently and clearly. You are not wrong for expecting them to share responsibility for a cost that only exists because they canceled.
Here is an example of how you could ask without being confrontational:
Hey, I know you have a lot going on and we really do feel for you. I just wanted to revisit the cruise deposit. Since we only had to cancel because you couldn’t go anymore, we ended up losing $500 that we otherwise wouldn’t have. Would you be willing to reimburse us for that, even if it’s over time? We’re not upset with you – we just can’t really afford to take that loss.
That keeps the focus on facts, not blame, and gives them flexibility. If they react poorly, that tells you something important – but simply asking does not make you the asshole.
That’s a ridiculous take – the only reason OP and sister can’t go is because their father won’t let them. He’s the one they need to be asking for the money.
If you and a friend bought tickets to a concert, and they cancelled, in what world would you expect them to pay you for your ticket?
You can’t ask them for your deposit back. They aren’t responsible for you not being able to go without them
Yeah for real this is ridiculous. People get so offended when we call out stuff like this, that Reddit is a harsh place etc
But man, how do you even get to asking this question? Thinking that you should even consider getting money from friends over this??
Op, you can still go on the trip. Your dad is the only problem here. Your friends are allowed to do as they please – they don’t have to compensate you for your dad’s behavior.
YTA. Your friends aren’t acting as your legal guardians who have a responsibility for the fact that you can’t go. The issues with your parents are your issues. While it is unfortunate that them cancelling means you won’t be going, sometimes unavoidable situations come up for people and that’s just something you have to live with if you made the choice to make your trip dependent on theirs. They are losing their deposit, too so it’s not like they would have cancelled lightly.
How old are you that you have to argue with your parents about taking a trip and you have to have friends to act as chaperone?
You and your sibling can still go on the cruise. If your father is the one saying you can’t go (which as adults is ridiculous), then he should reimburse you. If he won’t, then go anyway. YWBTA if you asked your friends to refund your deposit. It’s not their fault you won’t go.
YTA. You didn’t have to cancel. You could have just gone on the cruise and told your parents after the fact that the friends found out about the emergency while you were all on board and they left the ship at the first port. Or take a couple pics with a random guy on the ship and say he is the brother. Hell, photoshop them into your pics with AI.
Ask yourself, if you’re not willing to take any risks to save your $500, why should they go out of their pocket?
As you get older and still choose to live under your parent’s thumb, you will find that your friends will move on to living independent adult lives without you. The excuse of “my parents won’t let me” will not interest them and your social life will suffer until you make a change.
*Sincerely, a former sheltered child who lived with their strict parents way too long but didn’t let it get in the way of having some fun.*
Edit: more words.