Hello Reddit! First time poster but long time lurker.
I (17M) have had a car for about 5 months, and tbh, I LOVE it. Not just the car, but the freedom of having one. Recently, my sister (19F) has gotten her drivers license, and with that, my parents are saying that we should share the car; and sure, that seems fair. But my problem is that I was told she doesn’t have to pay me back for any components I put in (ie. tablet, SD card for dash cam [this was forced]). There are some other things I’ve done to the car like new a new stereo because the factory one didn’t have an aux or Bluetooth, and the speakers in the car, but those are my decisions that were not necessary and that can’t be removed from the car. My view on her using this car is that she will use the tablet and dash cam that I was forced to buy. To me this doesn’t seem fair because I paid fully for them, if she was just borrowing the car until my parents buy her a new car, that’s completely fine, but I’m under the impression that this will be a shared car. I know that it seems childish to complain about this, but since I got winter tires (which my parents said she has to pay half for), I’ve had no money, and her using and taking advantage of the tablet that I paid for in full just doesn’t seem to be fair. I will take 100% fault if I’m deemed TA, but I was just wondering if there’s any validity to my opinion.
So Reddit, AITA?
If she is using your car she should be in some way contributing to upkeep – so rather than paying for specific components you put in, as a minimum she should be paying for her own fuel, and depending on how much she uses it would depend on how much she should contribute to servicing, taxing, and repairs. She’s already doing that with paying half on the tires after all.
Oil, gas, tires, maintenance work? yes. Your tablet and dashcam? Nah.
It’s not like she’s going to take them with when she gets her own car. She’ll be getting her own, yes?
YTA
Yta
She didn’t ask you to upgrade any of the car that was your own choice so I wouldn’t say that one make you one unfortunately
Nobody forced you to buy any of that. Meaning the none upkeep items.
YTA I am afraid.
The upgrades are on you, as long as she is paying for the general running costs (fuel, tyres, insurance on her side etc) i don’t see an issue.
If you fitted an aftermarket steering wheel would you say she cant use that bit either? (JK to make a point).
NAH
You should be splitting all future expenses 100%, while also splitting the decision making about any topic regarding the car.
However everything you purchased/did to the car before, you did yourself. She was not part of the conversation. So asking for payment after the fact is not ok in my opinion.
Asking does not make you an asshole either, but I would be upset to hear my sibling asking for something because they think I owe it to them when I do not.
I hope you can have a better relationship with your sister in the future, where you would be more happy to share and support one another.
Anyways, be safe out driving!
I’d forgotten how much detail teenage boys will go into when parsing the whole “fairness” thing. Thanks for the reminder! (YOU wanted the tablet etc. and now you want your sister to help pay for it?)
NTA,
but this is not a hill to die on.
You and your sister are both very young, and the kindness and cooperation you show one another at this point in your life are going to set the tone for years to come. Building goodwill on nickel and dime stuff like this is hopefully wiser than counting costs.
It sounds like your parents bought this car for you guys anyway and the forced tweaking were meant to bring the car up to the specs they wanted while at the same time instructing you on financial responsibility for such items.
Honestly this is such a first world problem. Be grateful you are getting this leg up in life and don’t begrudge sharing the wealth
Info: who actually owns the car? Who pays for insurance? Gas? Maintenance costs?
One thing I would recommend is the SD card for the dash cam. Tell her she has to have her own and take your SD out when you’re not driving the car.
The reason? Since the camera doesn’t know who is driving the car, you keep the recordings of you driving, and she has her own record of her driving.
If the car is damaged, each of you can show a record of your time driving the car.
Op… I get what you saying but at the same time, you would of had to get those things whether or not she borrowed your car. Rather get her to pay for gas and maintenance. Before i pick a side: Might i ask who forced you to get those components? Why didn’t those people pay for the forced added components? Unless the tablet is compulsory in the car?
If your parents required you (forced) to have the tablet and dash cam as a condition of having the car then she should be required to pay half for those. Anything optional was your choice, your cost. NTA
You are “under the impression” this is a shared car.
Did your parents pay for this car?
Did you contribute to the initial outlay of money for this car?
Is it registered in your name?
I think this information would be helpful to have.
And, who is listed on and pays for the insurance?