Alright so first of all, my parents are divorced and my dad and twin brother are both active soldiers. And honestly, I always admired my dad, always wanted to be like him and, without getting into the details, always preferred him over my mother. My brother too, after my dad, he was the person I admired the most.
I’ve had a deep fascination with the military since I was very young, probably coming from my dad who first sat me into a tank when i was five years old😂. But the thing is, just about everyone in my family, other than my dad and brother, is heavily anti-military and already has quite the "disliking" towards my twin brother for also enlisting. Which makes me wonder how my dad and mom even married, but that’s unimportant.
And so, the outcry was quite massive when I recently told everyone at a family gathering that I want to quit my current hospital job and enlist in the military. I have several dozen reasons for this and one of them is actually to get away from my family, but that’s not the topic of this post.
I (secretly) had an appointment at the nearest recruitment office and they basically told me that they could get me into the military in just a few months. I have good education and good conditions, so I could make quite the career and follow my dad’s and brother’s footsteps, so to speak.
So, am i the a-hole for effectively ignoring my entire family’s wishes and stuff to instead follow my dad and brother to enlist? I had to shorten this explanation down significantly so i doubt that i properly explained the situation so I am obviously going to answer all questions in the comments.
NTA. You are making a life choice that resonates with you, one that you respect, and was also chisen by people you love and respect.
In the mean time, the people you want to get away from are trying to convince you that you’re wrong. It sounds like they’re already people who don’t have your respect the same way that your dad and twin do…. so why listen to them? They don’t sound like they care about you and finding a path forward in your life, as much as they care about hating the military.
It’s a big decision, and it sounds like you’re going in with eyes wide open. Work hard, and serve well.
— From an army mom.
OP joining would be akin to joining the german army in the 1940s.
https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2025/09/israel-has-committed-genocide-gaza-strip-un-commission-finds
— from an army mom.
Your life. Your career. Your decision.
I wouldn’t enlist right now because Germany may be pulled into the war in Iran.
However, you’re NTA because it’s your life and your decision to make..
Well, I’m not stupid.
Meaning that I am perfectly aware that joining the army always comes with the possibility of being pulled into a war. Fighting, so others don’t have to fight, is one of the things an army is for and I am perfectly aware of.
But obviously, I get your point
YTA
Not because your family disagrees, but because you’re **enlisting in a fucking military** to kill people for money on the orders of idiot politicians.
You trust that dumbass querulant Merz with your life?
is that really what you want to do with your life? If you are fascinated with violence, go play video games, collect knives, go hunt deer (ethically, with a license), do LARPing or consensual BDSM, boxing/contact sports/martial arts, or literally any healthy outlet that does not involve killing real life people.
imho there is no acceptable reason to become a soldier unless your country is actively being invaded. I could understand it if you’re next to russia, but who’s gonna invade Germany? Switzerland?
the politicians are not gonna care about you when your homeless in the gutter with ptsd or something. the military is nothing but a con to get idiots to die for stupid politics. It’s not cool. It’s not badass. It makes you a sucker and a bootlicker, and you will be used as a disposable meatshield
go read “all quiet on the western front” or “lord of the rings”. or watch “grave of the fireflies”. real war is nothing like a video game.
NTA. It’s your life, do what’s right for you. If you give into your family you will regret it for the rest of your life.
NTA…
is this even a Question?!?!
It’s *YOUR* life. Live it how you see fit.
Do not live it looking for the approval of others.
And if they turn their backs on you for making your life-choices, that’s on them, not you.
Best of luck!
Child, if you are not old enough to navigate this question without asking reddit, you are not mature enough to enlist in the military. They’ll take you, and I’m sure Europe will need bullet cushions in the near future.
But unless one of the reason for joining is “to grow up,” you are NTA regarding your family, and probably not any kind of AH for joining the military, but this post drives home that you should not be making this choice.
NTA, they are entitled to their opinion, but at the end of the day its your life & you do what’s right for you. If they can’t deal with that, it’s their problem, not yours. Congrats & enjoy your life.