I (37M) have been married to my (35F) wife for 4 years. We live in Canada while her parents live in Asia. Neither of us grew up in Canada but we’re of the same culture.
I’ve met her parents only a handful of times over the years since we’re so far away but they came over to visit us 3 weeks ago and will be here for 3 more weeks. It’s been nice having them around for the most part.
Her mother is a counselor back home and has been doing her sessions virtually while here as well. After almost every session, she will tell my wife all about it in great detail. I was shocked when I first heard it because of how unprofessional and weird it is. My wife doesn’t argue much with her mom because they have issues so she just listened without much reaction. When I asked her later, she admitted it was not right but that she doesn’t want to argue.
So when it happened again 2 days ago, I said something. I told her this was not a good thing to do and we don’t need to hear about your cases and to please stop telling us out of respect for them. She was incredibly taken aback, my wife was shocked and it didn’t go over well. My MIL hasn’t spoken to me since, my FIL has been awkward and my wife is very upset at me.
I thought I did the right thing but AITA?
Nta. I feel for her patients. She’s awful.
NTA
That’s a serious breach of privacy and you should try to report her. I’d be horrified if I was one of her patients.
I’m genuinely curious what the laws are in Canada for practicing therapy in the country for patients out of the country. I realize that it’s unlikely to matter in this case, since she’ll be gone in 3 weeks, but I wonder what the laws are.
From the very surface level research I just did: While they don’t have the extreme laws the US does, it is illegal and requires patient consent to share medical information.
Thanks! I’m in the US, and I get out of state telehealth therapy, and my therapist has to be licensed in both my state, and the state he practices out of. (And I think in California it isn’t legal regardless of licensing.)
Np! It looks like India has the least security but their laws are catching up.
NTA. I understand wanting to divulge a good work story, especially if you work in a more “dramatic” field. But depending on the kind of information she was sharing, that could be considered illegal in many places and a breech of privacy.
Edit to add: Even if she isn’t going into great detail/breaking privacy policy for her specific job, It’s also totally okay for you to shut down conversations that make you uncomfortable. (I would probably also add that hearing these stories makes me uncomfortable confiding in her!)
NTA – Your mil has zero business being a counselor. Holy crap that is so unprofessional. Good for you (a grown fucking adult) for addressing this with her and hopefully she will correct her behavior moving forward. I would just go about as normal and maybe start to “kill her with kindness” to really drive home how inappropriate she is still behaving by ignoring you.
Thats super illegal. Id turn her in, but thats just me.
I would tell everyone if they are going to sulk you can always keep going and report her
NTA Sharing about multiple sessions shows that she’s used to using her client’s personal stories for entertainment. If she had shared one story with your wife, I could see it as her processing a challenging session by talking it through with a safe family member, while she’s away from her usual professional supports. But sharing multiple sessions? Nah. That is not okay. I would tell her that this experience has made you less likely to ever seek out therapy. Remind her of how a client might feel. She’s seems to have forgotten that perspective.
NTA realistically, people who do things like this don’t want it pointed out that what they are doing is wrong because they care about looking bad but not so much about doing the right thing. She likely has been justifying inappropriate disclosures like these with the excuse that it’s all family here or that no one else thinks it’s a big deal and you popped the bubble so she can’t pretend that no one thinks of it as wrong.
NTA. your wife said she doesnt want to argue, that doesn’t mean you can’t confront the issue. as someone who has done a lot of therapy and also has worked in emergency medicine, im appalled reading this. thank you for speaking up bc that woman has no business being told such confidential information and telling it to others over a dinner table.